Theonomatology

"That God does not exist, I cannot deny, That my whole being cries out for God I cannot forget." -- Jean-Paul Sartre 
 
These days, in my experience, there is no being called God,

But I have a yearning with that name—God!

It’s strange because I usually don’t name my cravings

—my appetite is no Andy, my sexuality not Sandy—

So is it appropriate to appropriate a proper noun

To this mystical desire for divinity?

A God by any other name would tell a tale incomplete:

If I called out for Truth, would I also find Love?

If I called out for Love, would I also find Strength?

If I called out for Strength, would I also find Hope?

Of course, when my yearning yells “God!” I find nothing and no one,

But the name rings a bell—

It re-members me to a time when He and I

Were together, when unity was simple, when “to be” was to be with this One.

But like that ringing, the name echoes and then dissipates,

And my call is simply a call, my yearning named, that’s all.

What if…

Well, how about…

What if God were not the name of a being, but instead…

An ideal place?

As in “Let’s find our way to the Land of God,

Where we will all be free and peaceful and creative!”

Or a band name?

As in “I play keyboard with the People of God,

Our tunes are soulful, and our harmonies divine.”

Or a dance craze?

As in “Let’s all do the God, oh baby,” “Let’s God again like we did last summer,”

“Teach me how to God, teach me teach me how to God.”

Or maybe not.

There is a state of being I’m desiring, a way that I want to be

In the world, in solitude, in communion.

And I want it so badly, and I want you there with me,

And, for me, the cry of “God!” expresses both the aim and intensity of that desire.

But there is no being called God, and a yearning cannot respond to my call.

So when that word escapes my heart, I realize that it’s because my heart is outdated,

And then the challenge is to develop this name into a fuller description,

And then I can explain it to myself and explain it to you,

And then it can become the name of a plan, a shared plan,

And then I can develop this yearning into reality.