tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18714721242295775302024-03-08T13:04:53.557-08:00The Empty ThroneThe development of secular forms of spirituality, without supernaturalism or spiritualism. by Matthew LoweMatthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.comBlogger115125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-62994350730469296632023-04-02T13:03:00.002-07:002023-04-02T13:03:17.575-07:00April Fool's 2023 - The Folly of Decision-Making<p><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hello! Welcome to my 18th annual April Fool’s observance. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I first came up with this ritual when I realized a strange coincidence, which is that I tend to have very strong opinions and yet also tend to feel clueless a lot of the time-- which does and doesn’t seem right. So I thought I’d hold an event for people to feel strongly and confused together. </span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-c8e3f6a1-7fff-56fc-1955-7270eba42022"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My talk today will be about ten minutes, so you have a sense of how long I’ll be requesting your attention.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This year’s topic is: The Folly of Decision-making-- actually, I want to be less abstract this year, so I’ll get more specific: I’m only talking about irreversible or damn-near irreversible decisions, and mostly about the foolish feelings I have before and after making those decisions. Without referencing it again, I’m actually talking about the question of becoming a parent, but please feel encouraged to make it relatable to yourself-- think about a decision you’ve faced, are facing, or will face, so that you can feel the kind of heaviness I’m referring to. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ok! Let’s get into it-- the speech might just as well be called The Goddamn Paradoxes of Time, or The Folly of Living in Time. The decision-making process has the potential to suck powerfully in the before-times and after-times, and this makes me feel very foolish-- and it’s not just me…</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are two bits of conflicting wisdom we’re given about the before and the aftermath of a decision. Before the decision we’re told-- decisions matter! This is your life, you only get one, so you better think and feel and do the research, and re-think, and get others’ opinions. Basically, look before you leap. Facing a decision, everyone wants a positive outcome, and seemingly the best way to secure a positive outcome is to BE CAREFUL. No one wants to have to deal with a negative outcome. Decisions matter, so be mindful. As Funkadelic says “Wake up! Live in the presence of your future!”</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But then? After the decision-- suddenly we all become super-Buddhist about it?? It’s like, hey man, you gotta accept what is! The past is destiny! In order to live well, you just have to accept reality!</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I hope you see the foolishness here. Before the decision, everything matters, and we have to aim high, and refuse to settle for less. Then after the decision we have to let go of expectations and work with “what is”?? What the heck just happened? Does the decision matter or not? Do our desires and hopes and expectations matter or not? When they don’t go according to plan, shouldn’t we feel something negative?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There’s an emotional absurdity here. Before the decision, the main emotions are desire and fear; specifically, fear of regret. And then after the decision, we’re told: “Let go of desire! Don’t waste time on regret!” We’re asked to suddenly switch emotional gears, and for me, I just can’t do it; it’s emotional whiplash.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Before continuing to my current emotional solution to this paradox, let’s talk about the role of time. Consider the phenomenon I’m calling “the shock of the before becoming the after.” My first experience of this was having a minor (but expensive!) car accident when I was 16. As soon as it happened, I was shocked that it simply couldn’t be undone, especially since only a minute before the crash didn’t even exist. This shock was a feeling of being stuck-- not only stuck in an undesired future, but also stuck in the regret at past Matt’s seeming inability to avoid this future. Ever felt that shock?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now I just mentioned “past Matt,” so let’s get into past, present, and future selves-- we’re all of them, but, y’know, only one at a time. What’s the consequence of this? Well, past Matt keeps making decisions for future Matt. And that’s how life works. But, what the heck? Past Matt doesn’t know the future, and yet he gets to make decisions about it? Past Matt doesn’t even really know future Matt, but he makes decisions for him? It’s unavoidable, and yet very, very foolish. The virtue required here is foresight, but I often have little of it, and even if you’re good at foresight, you’re still gonna lack a ton of knowledge about the future and yourself in it.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My earliest examples of lacking foresight: In 1993, my brother was given two CD players for his Bar Mitzvah, and I was offered one, which I turned down, because who even owns CDs? Two years later I felt very foolish. Fast forward to 2001, heading to college, and my parents offer to buy me a computer with a DVD player on it. You can guess how this ends.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Basically, a future is a really weird thing to have. It’s like, we have it, but we also don’t? And we can want a specific one, but we can only do so much about it? Do we “have” a future or not? Do we have a bunch of futures? What does that even mean?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ok-- let’s arrive at some emotional solutions. To the first part, I give credit to Dr. Yujia Song, my philosophical counselor-- yep that’s a thing, and I have one, pretty cool, right? She recently pointed out something completely obvious, except it wasn’t obvious until she said it, which is: You’re always in the past of your next decision. Right? Obvious now, but it complicates that selves-in-time thing I was just talking about-- in the present, I’m the future of past Matt, and the past of future Matt. Get it? Right now you are all living in a past, a present, and a future, from a certain point of view. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What does this mean emotionally? That the folly of regret isn’t that you have to “just accept and move on,” but that you’re never simply “stuck” in a future, because you’re always also in a past as well, a realization which returns to me a sense of power-- I can still decide about what comes next!</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The second part of the solution I’ll credit to Rabbi Zaslow, who recently spoke from the </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">bimah</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> about the importance of process thinking-- meaning, seeing ourselves as always in the middle of something, not at the end. This insight implies an important emotional task-- to stop assuming the present is forever! And with that, stop assuming that any current hatred of the present is the only response I’ll ever have to it. This is easy intellectually, but very hard emotionally. We might call this the folly of living in the present, with two contradictory wisdoms of its own-- first to “Be Here Now,” and second, that “This too shall pass.” It’s the challenge of living gracefully in the present, even while also hating it, a challenge for Present Matt anytime he’s feeling regretful.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And now, the hardest part, which is drumming up a practical way to rise to the emotional challenges of suspending regret, strengthening the ability to face the future, and the patience to abide in a difficult and indeterminate present.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It turns out this speech at its core isn’t about decisions or time, but actually about desire and its follies. To live life, to inhabit our own life, to continue onwards-- all of that requires desire. We have to </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">want</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. We have to have some kind of sense of what we want, even if it’s a false sense, because that's how motivation works-- it's an assessment of our current emotions and then projecting them into the future. And this is silly, because who knows the future, and who really has control? Thus we are fools by wanting and pursuing what we want, and this foolishness exposes itself when things appear to go poorly. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The negative emotions this stirs up are appropriate, and yet could be considered the root of two pathologies-- anxiety disorders and depressive disorders. It’s demoralizing to have our decisions and the course of our lives appear to go poorly, and that can make us give up on wanting entirely, AKA depression. Or, we start to fear anticipated regret and become terrified and paralyzed, AKA anxiety. For myself, the primary symptom of both depression and anxiety is agitation-- agitated from wanting to want but having this depression remove my capacity for appetite; agitated because I want to act, but this anxiety refuses all action. I want resolution, and I refuse to rest until things are made whole, even while wholeness seems impossible-- and so I get an agitated anxiety and depression.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(Sigh) And of course even these apparent pathologies hold some necessary wisdom. In the difficult aftermath of a change, it’s appropriate to spend some time mourning the loss of previous possibilities, and to learn lessons from our regret. In the precursor to change, it’s appropriate to be anxious about an unknown future, and to use that anxiety to motivate careful planning. It all makes sense and none of it makes sense.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, our emotional tasks, in brief? To feel anxiety </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> regret, and </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">yet</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> still to desire. And, in the loss of sense of desire, to wait for it to return, rather than assuming that this current anxious or depressive paralysis is the only internal state possible from now on.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At the end of every matter, which itself is the beginning of the next matter, there’s a question we should always return to-- “Ok, so what do I want now?” We must have a desire, feel the anxiety, make the decision, feel the regret, and then move to the folly of having another desire. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Pretty good solution, right? Except-- all I’ve done is beg the question of knowing desire. What the heck do we want; where does that desire come from; which desires should be trusted and pursued? Maybe I’ll cover this in a future speech; call it the prequel to this one. For now, I’ll keep chewing on this question, and hopefully remember it and be true to it in the future-- the question: “So, what do I want </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">now</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">?” To desire, to return to desire after being in the throes of loss and regret-- this is how we live gracefully in time, gracefully in the before and after of any of the largest decisions of our lives.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thank you!</span></p><div><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-6714964092384982542022-04-03T12:51:00.004-07:002022-07-30T08:19:07.222-07:00April Fool's 2022 - The Folly of Fear<p> <span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hello, and welcome to the 17th annual April Fools’ Observance! I developed this paradoxical celebration some time ago, while studying philosophy, which as we all know is for lovers of wisdom, as well as the bachelor’s degree for fools who aren’t sure what they’re doing after college. When I was studying I noticed something foolish about wisdom— it seems like a lot of things called wise contradict a bunch of other things also called wise. If you were to listen to all the wisdom you’re given, you would surely end up foolish. So I thought, I’ll gather people together, and give some wise advice about how to deal with the contradictions of wisdom. </span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-24c2ff01-7fff-1ad0-241f-4e73d8976408"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So that’s basically the premise— I pick an item of interest, gather the contradicting wisdom about it, and then sort through it so you don’t have to! And since all the wisdom contradicts, I refer to the whole thing as a folly. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This year my topic is— The Folly of Fear. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration-skip: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Surveying the Sources</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This topic has already been covered extensively in the human canon, so I thought I’d start out by surveying some sources, and then hopefully sharing more original thinking about it. So let’s start with wise advice that discourages fear:</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Some will tell you not to fear because fear is always based on an illusion. The author of the Psalms proclaims “The LORD is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?”-- see, it makes no sense to fear, when God is on your side! Roman Emperor/Stoic Marcus Aurelius meditated on the delusional nature of fear from a more secular perspective, saying: “The first step: Don’t be anxious. Nature controls it all. And before long, you’ll be no one, nowhere-- like Hadrian, like Augustus.” See, it makes no sense to fear, because you never had any control or significance in the first place! Whether God is in control or no one is in control, fear is based on illusion.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Others will tell you not to fear because fear is simply unhelpful. This is why FDR told us that “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” why Dune calls fear “the mind killer”, and why Rebbe Nahman emphasizes that “the main thing is not to fear.” Fear is unhelpful because it gets in the way of decision-making and action! Alternatively, it leads to poor decision-making and evil action-- no less a sage than Yoda himself advises Anakin that “Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate… leads to suffering.” So, fear is unhelpful. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now let’s survey wisdom that encourages fear. Admittedly there’s not as many, but I think they’re still powerful: </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Some will tell you that we should listen to our fear, because it clues us in to deep </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">truths about ourselves and our reality. The proverbial Biblical author praises fear, proclaiming: “Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.” From a more secular and therapeutic perspective, fear highlights that which we hold sacred and would seek to protect. Fear points towards deep truths.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Others would add that we should listen to our fear, because it’s good for motivation. It’s for this reason that Aristotle includes fear in his definition of courage-- in face of danger, it’s good to act, but specifically in a way that incorporates concern about danger! To act without fear is not a virtue for Aristotle; the virtue of courage integrates fear with action. Similarly, noted Python John Cleese dedicates an entire chapter heading to this subject, advising us to “Get your panic in early,” using our fear as motivation to action.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Are we seeing now how important and helpful fear is? How it puts us in touch with our values, our reality, and our motivation towards courageous action? Truly, no less a sage than Luke Skywalker himself warns Rey that “Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi. Your destiny.”</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Let’s summarize: Fear is based on illusions, and puts us in touch with deep truths. Fear stops us from acting, or motivates evil actions; and fear motivates wise action. So, what the hell is going on here?? </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Alan Watts, 20th century English populariser of Eastern wisdom, sums it up in his book: “The Wisdom of Insecurity”:</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There is a contradiction in wanting to be perfectly secure in a universe whose very nature is momentariness and fluidity…. If I want to be secure, that is, protected from the flux of life, I am wanting to be separate from life. Yet it is </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">this</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> very sense of separateness which makes me feel insecure. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration-skip: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Meaning of the Contradiction</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s a good contradiction, right? Here’s how I like to put it: fear is a reflection of our in-between position in the world-- that is, we have some power but not much, and some significance but not much. Foolish ways to overcome fear always involve rejecting or denying this in-between position. Some aim for more power by beefing up security; Watts points out how this actually fuels insecurity. Others, like Aurelius, try to shake off their fear by ridding themselves of any sense of self-importance-- to me this feels at most rather depressing, and at least inauthentic.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The actual state of things then, is that we seem to exist with some passing stability and some passing significance. If it’s unclear, what we’re really talking about here is: boundaries, and how hard it is to live with them. When we want to grow, we’re afraid of being trapped by our boundaries. When we want to survive, we’re afraid of our boundaries being broken. Anytime we are feeling anxious and fearful, it’s likely that our natural desires to live or grow are being threatened by the harsh reality of our boundaries, or the harsh reality beyond them.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration-skip: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Some Wise Advice</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, then, how shall we deal wisely with this contradiction? What do we do with fear, in all its wisdom and foolishness? </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Let’s start with an understanding of fear as related to the challenges of having boundaries; in fact let’s make it more concrete by talking about it as a response to edges. Makes sense, right-- when we’re close to an edge, we tend to get… edgy! So what can we do with an edgy feeling.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span> <span> </span></span>Let’s make this super-literal-- one place that I often feel edgy is when I’m next to a high </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">ledge. Specifically, I’m thinking of the George Washington Bridge walkway, or more specifically, that one part that doesn’t have a high fence, and where social conventions place me on the side closer to the ledge. Ugh, that feeling-- in my imagination, I’m already falling, right-- and just watch what happens to my hands, shoulders, chest, face as I talk about this. So what do I do? I bring my attention back to my current center of gravity, which places my head atop my shoulders atop my spine atop my legs, all stably on the walkway, at least in this moment. Yes, the edge is scary, and also… I’m remaining on this side of it, and so I can draw my attention to that continuing experience of stability. I tolerate the edginess, and I don’t lose awareness of stability. This awareness doesn’t dispel fear, but neither does it feed into it, and that seems to be the best we can do with fear.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Well, I suppose we can do one better, by recognizing those situations in which going over the edge could actually be growthful rather than fatal. I was listening to a podcast recently about the Grateful Dead’s live free-jazz explorations, known infamously across setlists as “Drums/Space.” The episode was discussing a particular well-known performance, 10/26/89 in Miami, which many audience members, who may or may not have been under the influence, found frightening… and compelling. One listener's comment stuck out to me: “This is kind of scary but it’s interesting.” (repeat that) What a brave and inspiring combination of sentiments! To be curious at the same time as afraid-- it’s a difficult combo to master, but think of how rewarding it could be, what I might learn about myself and the world, if I can accompany fear with curiosity.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span> <span> </span></span>Now, about “accompanying fear with curiosity”-- it sounds nice, but in actual practice, it </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">might just be a bunch of therapeutic hogwash. When I’m afraid, I usually don’t feel anything else, as I’m rather busy feeling afraid! To combine fear and curiosity requires finding some element of security, and thus being able to engage with fear and risk while maintaining that element of security; in therapy, this is called secure attachment. Secure attachment can be given or earned, and so is likely my best professional answer to the question of dealing with fear. But honestly, all of this feels too intellectual, and the experience of fear is not very intellectual, so I want to provide an answer that’s a bit more inspirational than all this.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ll close with a metaphor that’s been appealing to me recently, one that inspires in me the ability to allow fear even while disliking it. I call it…</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration-skip: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Living at the Shoreline</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Imagine a vacation day at the beach. The beach is fun and relaxing, and yet it’s also a place that is rife with edges, and even worse, moving edges. Going to the beach means hanging out in the shoreline AKA the “active coastal zone,” which is everything one finds above the continental shelf (so, like, the ocean) and below the part of land that’s never eroded by water (so, like the far side of a dune; or a wall). Some people love playing in the water, with waves constantly rolling or crashing against them; other people hang out at the shore itself, where the waves play upon the sand; still others prefer the beach, playing in the “intertidal” area where sand gets covered and uncovered throughout the day and night. You can picture it all now yeah? The waves, the sand, the tide? The active coastal zone, the various moving edges of water and sand-- there’s so much happening! It’s all very stimulating and fun; y’know, like a day at the beach. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now imagine </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">living</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> on the beach-- what a nightmare, right? The tide comes in and gets my stuff all wet. Any kind of enclosure is eventually swept or eaten away by the water. And the waves! They never stop rolling in. To try to establish firm and secure grounding at the beach, is alternatingly exhausting and terrifying.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Living at the shoreline requires us to redefine success and security. If my expectation is to get repeatedly hit by waves big and small, then I can’t think of getting knocked over as failure. Getting knocked over by a wave is just what it sometimes feels like to live at the beach. Getting your stuff moved around and your space eroded is just what it feels like to live in-between the tides. Success then… is about remaining at the shoreline, rather than getting swept into the ocean, or rather than just quitting the beach altogether. Success is about working with the waves, developing a lifestyle that integrates the rhythm of the storm, the calm, and the tides. Success is about working with the feeling of edginess, rather than blowing up or shutting down in response to it.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But why put up with this at all? If it’s so awful to live on the beach, why not just leave? I hope you won’t mind, but for some reason this question got me all spiritual and mystical, because, well… the sea is terrifying, and it’s the source of life. The shoreline is the site of pleasure and terror, the source of life and of destruction. Ultimately it’s an act of radical love to embrace life, despite the fact that it will kill us. In embracing life, we are led to embrace fear, to incorporate it into our overall vision of life.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To live well with fear then, is an expression of love for life, as well as resignation to life’s terrors. As Naomi used to say to me, during the first pandemic wave, with both great resignation and great love: “This is where we are now.” Similarly, we can echo Steven Tyler’s own philosophy regarding life on the edge: “We can tell ‘em no, or we could let it go, but I would rather be a-hangin’ on.”</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thanks for your time today!</span></p></span><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-74104900799626717032021-04-11T11:09:00.000-07:002022-07-30T08:19:27.712-07:00April Fool's 2021 - The Folly of ParticipationHello, and welcome to my 16th annual April Fool’s observance. This is a day for celebrating paradoxes, and the event itself is built on something of a paradox-- it began 16 years ago when I started recognizing all these existential paradoxes that everyone shares, and so I started a holiday for us to share them with each other. But if we already share them, then why hold a day to share them? And yet, if we didn’t already share them, there’d be no reason to share them. Does that make sense? No, seriously, am I making sense?<br /><br /> For those who are new to the event, here’s the format of my speech-- I’m going to talk about the folly of some concept or activity, and then contradict myself by promoting that same concept or activity. And the whole thing today will take 10 minutes.<br /><br /> Today’s topic is: The Folly of Participation.<br /><br /> Paul Tillich, in his book The Courage to Be, offers three different meanings for “participation,” and I experience folly in each one of them. These meanings are: (1) sharing, as in sharing a room (2) universality, or having in common, and (3) being a part, such as participating in a political movement. Participation is: Sharing, universality, being a part. Let’s talk about the folly of each.<br /><br /><b>First, the folly of sharing<br /></b><br /> You can only share something that’s yours, and that requires a feeling of possessiveness. Here’s what I mean by that-- if I only want half of my sandwich, then giving you the other half isn’t sharing; it’s giving you something I’ve already disavowed. By my definition, sharing must involve sacrifice, and therefore involves folly-- because I want what I want, even as I’m giving it away. If you can imagine, in this household I sometimes make food, and then Naomi wants a bite. Every single bite I’ve ever shared with her brings me gratification... but also regret. Why give away what I want?<br /><br /> Of course, refusing to share, or rather refusing to cooperate around sharing, also has its follies. We see this in the classic “tragedy of the commons” in which a shared resource is consumed in an unsustainable way. Everyone takes as much as they want, and we’re soon left with nothing. <br /><br /> A brief summary so far-- to share is to deny desire, and therefore to betray oneself; not sharing is to deny relationship... which weirdly enough is also to betray self. More on that later. <br /><br /><b>Now then, the folly of having in common<br /></b><br /> To have in common is to be common, and to be common is to be robbed of uniqueness. Sorry for the abstraction; let’s get specific. I’ll use commonality in conversations as my example:<br /><br />If a topic of conversation is common enough, we call it “small talk.” Some people say they hate small talk, because there’s no individuality revealed by discussing common topics like the weather. If we’re not being individuals, then we cannot actually connect as individuals. The same holds true for more substantive talk, if it’s full of cliches. I see this happen when people discuss politics or current events, but are just taking turns regurgitating talking points they’ve absorbed through common media. It feels foolish to me because it’s a conversation with very little encounter— just memes passing in the night.<br /><br /> My horror at cliche and small talk peaked at the beginning of the pandemic-- within a week of things shutting down here, I was quickly overwhelmed and bored by the fact that every conversation was about the pandemic. The way it took over our attention, and there was nothing else to talk about-- I felt disgusted by the suffocating commonality of it all. <br /><br /> I may be just revealing my own issues here, but I’m gonna share one more example. I also lived in NYC during college, and sometimes I would find myself on the subway, lost in my head about some personal or interpersonal drama. And then I’d look up, across the aisle on the 1 train, and see other people’s faces, and realize they were having their personal drama, and I would feel silly for taking myself so seriously. Maybe it’s a numbers thing-- there’s just so many other people living their lives that, whatever I’m going through, no matter how private and personal it feels, is just one more universal thing, one more tired cliche. <br /><br />Another brief summary-- acknowledging my own commonality is embarrassing; of course, denying it is simply foolish.<br /><br /><b>Finally, the folly of being a part<br /></b><br />And now let’s turn to the indignity of being a part and not the whole. Here’s where I’ve found myself struggling with this- in joining political chanting or political marching. In being part of a hora. In sitting through group meetings, unless I’m running them. <br /><br />Why do I hate being a part? Is it just me being a contrarian? Well, that’s definitely part of it. But, like, what’s really going on? Being a part makes me vulnerable to the bigger thing I’m a part of it, and that vulnerability, that helplessness, can feel undignifying. That discomfort with vulnerability intensifies if I see the larger whole as chaotic, destructive, or simply uncaring about me as an individual. <br /><br />A humbling image that captures this for me— in the fall I see the trees changing color, and I like to imagine that I, too, am a tree-- only to realize that I’m clearly a leaf, not a tree. A part of the whole, yes, but so easily discarded.<br /><br />Beyond my discomfort with the smallness of participation, there’s also a rich spiritual tradition of distrusting groups, of refusing to participate. In the gospels, Jesus tells rich people to give away their wealth, asserting that rich people cannot enter the kingdom of heaven. There’s a great leftist interpretation which frames Jesus’ statements as a condemnation of participating, of benefiting, from an unjust system. In an unjust society, only the destitute, only those excluded from participating in the system, are innocent. <br /><br /> We can go even further back, to the Hebrew Bible, to that great myth against participation-- the Tower of Babel. All the peoples of the world are working together for a single cause, and even God sees this and basically says: “If they can do this, they can do anything!... So I better put a stop to it.” The people united will never be defeated, and that’s exactly the problem. God doesn’t trust large groups, and neither do I. I’m afraid of the group getting carried away, and me with it.<br /><br /><b>Ok, let’s summarize the whole critique so far:<br /></b><br />My aversion to participation is based in concerns about protecting my identity, or as Tillich would put it, my self-affirmation. To share what I have is to let go of the supremacy of my desire. To have in common is to have my uniqueness revealed as illusion. To take part in something bigger than myself is to abdicate power over my meaning and my fate. These are fair concerns, stemming from distrust of others, and disgust at being reduced to less than one. <br /><br /><b>Ok, now let’s critique the critique<br /></b><br /> First, let’s call bullshit on my hatred of participation. I clearly love participation in all three meanings of the word. First, sharing: while I might have an in-born concern about food scarcity, I also take joy in giving up what I have in order to see another enjoy it. Next, having-in-common: I’m obsessed with the existential givens— the experiences and challenges faced by all humans— embodiment, emotion, freedom, isolation, meaninglessness, and death. My therapeutic practice is mostly focused on encouraging clients to take personal ownership of these ultimately common experiences. Finally, about being a part: well, I’m actually not a total misfit— I like being a part in all sorts of situations. I may not like chanting at rallies, but if George Clinton and the P-Funk All-Stars want me to chant, I will do it gladly and extensively. I say I don’t like meetings, but I love a good class, or men’s group, or brainstorming session. I say I hate the hora, but really I just hate ones that are uncoordinated, or in cramped spaces. Really I love participation in many forms specifically, coordinated and safe forms. <br /><br /> Besides the fact that I love participation, I could also point out how hatred of participation can reveal some neurotic and unrealistic tendencies. 20th century psychoanalyst Karen Horney described it as a neurotic phenomenon. I’ll share her words, because I found them pretty damning of my anti-participation sentiments. Talking about the individual who wants to detach from the larger whole, she says: “He simply takes it for granted that he should derive all the good of living at a particular time in a particular social system, but resents being linked with others for good or ill. Therefore he cannot see why he should suffer from anything in which he has not been personally implicated” (Our Inner Conflicts, 175-6). Resentment at being linked with others— is this the height of concern for liberty, or the height of immaturity?<br /><br /> A client recently told me, sadly, that her partner found her needs taxing on him. This metaphor of taxes perfectly captures the ambivalence we have towards participation. Any good liberal (or Ned Flanders) will tell you that taxes are ideally a civic good, with each individual paying into the pot, and benefiting all (including themselves). A good conservative will tell you that taxes are theft, forced participation which diminishes the individual. The verb taxing always has a negative connotation, but we should reconsider what that implies. Taxing is only a bad word if I see taxes as simply taking away my good. If I find society’s needs taxing, that means I see my own good as something separable from society.<br /><br /> Beyond the folly of separating my good from the common good, Judith Butler points out the folly of even thinking of myself as separable from the common. In On Giving an Account of Oneself, she reminds the reader that any story about the self is always already involved in a social context, sets of relations, sets of norms. You can try to deny participation, but you can’t actually escape it. Those who hate traffic are forgetting that they are the traffic. And there’s no moral high ground in refusal to participate— it’s just righteous indignation without actual righteousness. Righteousness involves action, and action is participatory. Thus the foolishness of separating your sense of self and your sense of good from that of the whole.<br /><br /><b>So what do I have here? <br /></b><br />It appears that I love and hate participation.<br /><br />Participation entails a loss of self and a gain of self.<br /><br />Sharing is caring, and caring is vulnerable and dumb.<br /><br />Commonality is undignified and inescapable. <br /><br />Participation is morally suspect, and a moral necessity. <br /><br />I feel the need, as always, to leave you with something definitive, or at least beneficial. And yet, all I have is this: <br /><br />- Don’t be a fool in separating yourself from others. <br />- Don’t be a fool in joining others. <br /><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">No, that’s too negative; lemme try again. </blockquote>- Be a unique fool! And be a fool with the rest of us. <br /><br /><br />Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-65521714803217402362021-03-06T06:42:00.000-08:002022-07-30T08:19:32.576-07:00How to Identify Paradoxes in Your Life (2021)<p><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hello! If you’re reading this, then I must’ve invited/challenged you to identify paradoxes in your life. Congratulations! </span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-8eb5ff59-7fff-04c2-b23f-bcc1899a7f45"><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Here’s what I mean by paradox - any situation that involves contradictions that must be lived rather than solved. Kinda abstract, right? Ok, some examples:</span></p><br /><ul style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I love lying in bed, but the only way I’m able to fall asleep is if I get up and do things during the day. I love being active in the day, but the only way I’m able to be productive is by lying in bed all night.</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I love being social, but also, other people are an inconvenience. I love being alone, but also, it gets lonely.</span></p></li></ul><ul style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In relationships, it’s important to be yourself, and it’s important to be flexible for your partner.</span></p></li></ul><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Each of the above could be posed as a dilemma:</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To stay in bed or get up?</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To be alone or be with others?</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To stay myself or change for someone else?</span></p></li></ul><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To embrace paradox is to realize-- these are all false dilemmas!</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What I am calling a paradox is any situation in which the only way to lose is by picking one side once and for all. The only way to win is to figure out how to live with the contradictions (or tensions) rather than solve them. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, to identify paradoxes in your life, pay attention to:</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Situations in which you feel forever torn</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Situations in which you find yourself going in circles</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Situations in which you keep trying to find some kind of balance/rhythm</span></p></li></ul><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">These could be intrapersonal, personal, interpersonal, mundane, spiritual, domestic, professional, or pretty much any other sphere of life.</span></p><br /><br /><br /><br /></span>Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-48711820582582085062021-01-03T08:07:00.000-08:002022-07-30T08:20:22.670-07:00A Stoic Alternative to "God Willing"<p> <span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Fear of future loss is a lingering effect of past loss. This is normal, and a total bummer. In mid-March 2020 I was home, and just trying to psych myself up to live and adapt to “the new normal.” But the previous normal had just been stolen from me; why would I be so foolish as to establish a new one? Why be a sucker and lose myself again in the illusion of stability and control? My grief and anxiety gave birth to protective rage and despair, which refused to acclimate to the world, and refused to feel OK in it.</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-d4d2e552-7fff-dae7-6956-c3c0c74e6284"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I made tentative peace with this life and this world-- we’ll see how it goes, pending future hardship, pending future decisions about psychiatric medication. Philosophically, I made this peace through two insights: (1) by re-focusing my work, as I discussed on </span><a href="http://theemptythrone.blogspot.com/2020/04/april-fools-2020-folly-of-mental-health.html" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">April Fool’s</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">; (2) by developing my own take on Stoic spiritual exercises related to gratitude and loss.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Regarding #2, here are the moves:</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1) Whether there’s a god or not, it’s amazing that anything (including us) exists.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2) Given my lack of belief in a god, that amazement stems from an emotional awareness of how </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">unlikely</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> the natural/human/industrial world feels.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3) Can you feel that? How unlikely all of this is? How many myriad ways none of this (or a radically different version of all this) could have come to pass?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">4) Given the unlikelihood of any particular scenario, it’s even more amazing (or rather, ridiculous) that we, as agents, take for granted that we can make and execute plans. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">***</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Let’s take a brief interlude to note how my thought-process would have diverged if, at step #2, the ‘given’ was a belief in a god:</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2b) Given my belief in a god, that amazement stems from the awareness that all things proceed from god’s will.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3b) Can you feel that? How being just one creature in a god’s creation leads to these feelings of personal significance and insignificance?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">4b) Given the power of a god’s will, it’s wild that we, as agents, take any confidence or comfort in our own wills.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The conclusion of this religious line of thought: We should always remember to humble ourselves before the divine will. One way to do that would be to affix the addendum “God Willing” any time we dare to plan or hope for the future.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">***</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The atheist has no such ‘out’ to this problem of personal powerlessness. The believer may humble themselves, but they ultimately find comfort and perhaps reassurance through connection to an actually effective will (a god’s) in the universe. Secular-seeming alternatives like “if the universe wants” or “if the fates allow” still project (at least grammatically) some higher, effective agency.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, what’s the truly atheistic alternative? To hold on to our amazement at the unlikelihood of any/all things, and therefore to make all plans and hopes with an appreciation for the sheer comedy/absurdity of daring to desire. I suggest this: </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That we affix the addendum “as unlikely as that sounds”* to our hopes and plans.</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Because, really, this is all so unlikely! Let’s be amazed and appreciative of any good we get, and assume that it’s not ours to possess. We can still dare to desire, but without the foolishness of presuming control or possession.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I really hope these thoughts serve me as the future unfolds. Through stability and instability, I want to live gracefully-- as unlikely as that sounds.</span></p><br /><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">*(If this sounds like a bummer to you, please note that it’s way less dark than previous drafts, which included “if we don’t die first,” “not that it matters,” or “not that the world cares.”)</span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-85791855062202575702020-08-19T08:20:00.004-07:002022-07-30T08:20:34.736-07:00The Mourning Dove<p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">When the pandemic and the shutdown first started
in NYC, I found myself (ok, we all found ourselves, but this is my story) at
home and idle in the morning, during the time when I would have been commuting.
While the early days in NYC could get very loud with sirens, there were also
periods of silence, which could feel peaceful or off-putting, in the same way
that the idleness could be relaxing or distressing. Sitting around in that
idleness and silence, I started noticing a new bird <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Km-jtXueTw" target="_blank">sound</a> </span><span face="" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">with a pleasing lilt, like <i>hoo-hoooo</i>. </span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span><span face="" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">A confession, one in which I’m assuming I’m not
alone: when I think of animal life in NYC, I think only of pigeons and rats.
Since moving to Washington Heights three years ago I’ve added skunks
(thankfully, just that one on Overlook) and groundhogs (I live close to Fort
Tryon Park), but really it’s just pigeons and rats. Hearing this
clearly-not-a-pigeon sound, it felt a little magical-- what, some new mystery
bird? That I hadn’t noticed it until the pandemic shutdown felt significant,
but I couldn’t say why. Three years of not noticing this bird sound, and now,
in such a time as this, my ears finally pick it up. And so a new pattern
emerged, of sitting in my living room each morning, and at some point hearing
this bird. This was a period in which I had become severely depressed due to
the personal/social crisis at hand, and hearing that bird was always a
bittersweet part of the day, which was a relief from other periods of unrelenting
bitterness. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span><span face="" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">After a month, I finally started wondering what
kind of bird it was. I spent some time on YouTube poking around, which was
fruitless, until I remembered a new Facebook friend, someone I’d met at a
dinner party a few months before the shutdown. I described the phenomenon to
him, and he immediately knew: my mystery bird was a mourning dove!</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span><span face="" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">As someone who loves words and wordplay, the
homophones of “mourning” and “morning” struck me. This had been my “morning”
bird; but why was it a “mourning” bird? A little Googling, and I read that others hear the sound of mourning in this bird’s noises. I can hear how they
hear that, but I was annoyed at this unbidden meaning-- previously, I had just
heard the sound of the bird, this sorta sweet, mellow </span><i style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">hoo-hooo</i><span face="" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">, and
that’s all it was to me, a lovely sound. Now I felt this social pressure to
hear mourning in it and, especially during a time of such great pain and
anguish and loss in the city, I didn’t want this bird sound to be piled on to
that experience. The sirens were a much more immediate and obvious symbol; why
not just let the bird sound be what it was, a sound?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span><span face="" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Soon after, I was bird-watching on the benches
at Bennett Rest, and I was able to pick out the mourning doves from the
pigeons. Seeing them, it felt easier to separate them from this meaning of
“mourning”-- nothing about the bird’s appearance (and, to me, nothing about
their sound) automatically suggested mourning. I was able to shrug off this
“mourning” meaning further when I found out that my partner, who’d only heard
me talk about the bird, had been hearing me say “morning” dove. To us, it
simply was a “morning dove,” and we could leave it that way if we wanted, since
there’s no spelling in talking. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span><span face="" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">All of the above happened in April and May of
this year. This past month, I had the (privileged) opportunity to leave the
city for a week, and to vacation in a house deep in the woods. It was very,
very quiet there-- well, actually, there was often a nonstop chorus of crickets
(or cicadas? A further confession-- I really have very little nature literacy),
but compared to the city, nature’s cacophony can sound pretty damn peaceful,
right? I enjoyed the time away from work, away from wearing a mask outside, and
just away from all the ways I associate civilization with our current crisis. I
was still aware that this was just a vacation, and that I would need to brace
myself for the transition back home. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span><span face="" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">The transition started on the second-to-last day
of the trip, when I was outside in the afternoon, and heard a mourning dove.
Damn classical conditioning! Immediately I felt uneasy, feeling echoes of that
person last spring who sat helplessly in an apartment while illness raged
across the city. Despite my desire to leave this bird and its sounds free of
imposed meanings, I couldn’t help it-- the bird reminded me of (what I’ve
noticed many of us are calling) “all this.” Dammit. Damn. It’s just a bird and
a lovely sound! Must it be “mourning”? Must it remind me of my own mourning? I
don’t want it to be this heavy, complicated thing, bundled with associations of
anxiety and desperation. I want it to be light and simple and pleasant, like
the sound of the bird. I worried that my return to the city would be a return
to the overpowering weight of the crisis mindset, and this small sound was
calling me back.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span><span face="" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Fortunately I’ve had (the privilege of) some
good therapy, social support, and psychiatric medication over the last five
months, and my return to the city did not trigger a relapse. I haven’t heard a
mourning dove since I got back, but I look forward to it. I think back to the
one I heard in the woods, and how it wasn’t a city bird, and therefore was far
from (where I associate with) the pandemic. And, of course, neither the city
mourning dove nor the mountain mourning dove are aware of the pandemic, or my
associations, or their own name. But I am, and so when I hear the mourning dove
again, I expect it to feel very close to me, and very far away.</span></p><br /><p></p>Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-70796867173870146082020-06-29T17:38:00.000-07:002022-07-30T08:20:49.649-07:00Death does not defile, neither does water purify.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This
morning I attended a wonderful virtual talk hosted by Hadar and given by one of
my favorite former classmates, Dena Weiss. She spoke about this week’s Torah
portion <i>Hukkat</i>, through the lens of commentary from the Pesikta derav
Kahana 36a (to learn more about this book, ask someone else please!). One line
from the commentary has stuck with me all day and, well, I’m enjoying a wild
insight I’m having about it.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>First,
about the parsha and the commentary: In <i>Hukkat</i>, we read the law of the
red heifer, an animal which is sacrificed, burned to ashes, and then those
ashes are used to purify those who have been made ritually impure by contact
with the dead. It’s a famously bizarre law, and in the commentary, Rabbi
Yochanan ben Zakkai is asked about it. First he gives an answer that normalizes
the ritual but when pressed further by his students he says:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Death
does not defile, nor does water purify, but it is the decree of the Holy One,
blessed be He, who declared, ‘I have issued an ordinance and enacted a decree,
and you are not permitted to question my decree.” </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Death does not defile
nor does water purify.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What
a line! I’m obsessed with this line! It’s been in my head all day. So here are
some levels of significance I find in it (with my advance apologies both to
Dena Weiss and Rabbi Yochanan, as I am sure that my own thoughts will be
spiraling further and further away from the intentions and meanings of Rabbinic
thought).</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ok, here we go:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">1) </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">On the intended level, I believe (and Dena explained to
us this morning) Rabbi Yochanan is saying that ritual purity is an
arbitrary thing, something that exists by decree rather than in any natural
sense. Ritual purity and impurity are symbolic at best, and so if it
doesn’t make sense, don’t worry, it wasn’t logical in the first place.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">2) Now then, let’s approach this text more loosely. When I
read “defile,” I think “ruins.” And in that sense, yeah, death defiles! It
totally defiles. Closeness with death leaves an impact on us. It can
certainly kill a mood, or an appetite. In a physical-experiential sense,
contact with death defiles, and can leave us seeking some way to remove
that feeling. And similarly, water totally purifies! In a literal sense,
it cleanses, but again in a physical-experiential sense, it refreshes. I
take a shower, and I feel new. So, even without “God’s” proclamations
about ritual purity and impurity, I think there’s an instinctive human
sense that death does defile, and water does purify. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">3) Follow me as I really co-opt this text for my own
purposes. Now that we’ve established that death does defile and water does
purify, what would it mean to insist that they don’t? Here’s where I go
all atheist-misanthropic on you-- death doesn’t ruin life; it’s f**king
built into life! Death ruins life the way that dish-washing ruins a good
meal-- it’s like, sure, it ruins you if you’re spoiled. Gonna bring this
rant up a notch-- death is a big deal because we make it a big deal,
because, well, we are meaning-making animals, so making things into big
deals is what we do. But, in terms of life as a whole, death’s a piece of
it, and it doesn’t defile. The same goes for water-- it only has meaning
in a human world; otherwise, it’s just another element that does its
thing, and sometimes does its things with other things. <i>Tl;dr: Death
doesn’t defile because defilement is a human construct; water doesn’t purify
because purity is a human construct.</i></span><i> </i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
4) <span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">And now let’s return to these practices around ritual
purity and impurity. If death doesn’t defile and water doesn’t purify,
then why do them? If everything is meaningless, then why do meaningful
acts? Well, I’ll refer you to #2 above-- whether or not there’s meaning in
the universe, we seem to see/carry it anyhow! Death doesn’t defile, but it
sure feels like it does. Water doesn’t purify, etc. And that’s why “God”
decrees all of this.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">5) </span>Ok, one last step-- there is no God, just like there is
no ultimate meaning. In that case, “God” represents our passionate
attempt/insistence that life has meaning, because that’s how we work; it’s
how we get by. The decrees of “God” (our projections of meaning) matter
because we need meaning, whether it’s “out there” or not (it isn’t). We
can navigate life better when we have narratives of defilement and
purification (or your choice of two more updated terms related to downfall
and redemption, etc). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Death defiles -- death does not defile -- death
defiles.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Water purifies -- water does not purify -- water
purifies.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Or to put it another way: First </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcMM5-zBCEc"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">there
is a mountain</span></a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, then there is no
mountain, then there is.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-86885505622290332292020-04-26T12:03:00.000-07:002020-04-26T12:03:39.382-07:00April Fool’s 2020 - The Folly of Mental Health<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> Good
afternoon and welcome to my 15th annual April Fool’s observance. My talk today
is on “The Folly of Mental Health.” </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Would
you believe that my observance of this holiday <i>started</i> with a mental
health episode? In spring of 2005 I was in my last semester of college, and
learning a lot of Hegel and Heidegger, and the paradoxes of human life were
really blowing my mind. Then on April 1<sup>st</sup>…. I felt like I could see,
I could understand, I could truly appreciate how life was made up of tensions
that we must hold rather than solve, how each individual life exists as both
complete and incomplete, how we must be both bold and humble, how we were
mortal and our possibilities were endless. It was <i>very</i> exciting!</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It
was too exciting. I, um, tend to get too excited. For the next 4 days I felt
little need to sleep or eat, while I <i>did</i> feel the need to tell everyone
what I’d learned. It was really great-- until it was exhausting. That episode
ended with a brief visit to the psychiatric ER at St. Luke’s, where I was
deemed too safe for myself or others to be kept there, given something to help
me sleep, and that was that. Ok so I’m leaving out all sorts of distressing
details, but that’s a nice clean version of the story, so let’s enjoy it for
that. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now
here we are 15 years later, and I’m just emerging, hopefully, from another
mental health episode. Why, yes, it was precipitated by the global pandemic,
what a good guess!</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now
then, for anyone who needs a refresher, here’s how the speech works. First I
will spend some time attacking mental health, pointing out its stupid and
tragic contradictions, and mocking anyone who pursues it. Then I will close by
defending and promoting it. I hope that you will be convinced, and then
convinced again, and you’ll feel foolish, and you’ll think of me as foolish.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Here
are my three main points:</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<ol start="1" style="margin-top: 0in;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m a fool to think I have power over my own mental
health.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m a fool to think that mental health is worth
pursuing in this world.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m a fool to think I can help <i>others</i> with <i>their
</i>mental health.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ol>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Uplifting, right? Let’s do it!</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>First,
I’ll need a working definition of mental health. For today’s talk, I’ve decided
to use one that’s probably glib and self-serving, and hopefully just reasonable
enough that you’ll let me use it for now. How about this: Mental health is a
state of internal coordination that makes possible the desire and ability to
live in the world. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Now then, the follies of mental health:</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<ol start="1" style="margin-top: 0in;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m a fool to think I have power over my own mental
health.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ol>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If
mental health is a state of internal coordination, how much power do I have
over that coordination? I generally think of myself as a kind, patient,
positive, upbeat person, but if I’m hungry enough, or tired enough, or
congested enough, or stressed enough, those traits can disappear. I think of
myself as a stable person, and then some unstable times come along, and that’s
that. Mess with my body, trouble my future, shake up my worldview, and I can
crumble. It turns out that I am only as stable as my surroundings, only as
stable as my security. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In
short, mental health appears to be highly dependent on physical and
environmental health. As a therapist and someone who works on themselves a lot,
in the last month I pulled out <i>every </i>coping tool I had, and developed
some new ones, and none of them were as effective in calming me down as
medication, security, and love. While I certainly had to take my own steps to
get those things, my ability to get them was largely based on access, which is
to say, privilege. If I didn’t have access to them, I can’t imagine where I’d
be right now. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So,
it feels very difficult to claim confidently that I have power over my own
mental health.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"> 2.</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">I’m a fool to think that
mental health is worth pursuing in this world.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Mental
health makes possible the desire and ability to live in the world, but who says
this world is worth living in? Here’s the voice of Folly, in Erasmus’ “The
Praise of Folly,”: </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“...how
many disasters human life is exposed to, how miserable and messy childbirth is,
how toilsome it is to bring children up, how defenseless they are against
injuries, how young men must make their way by the sweat of their brow, how
burdensome old age is, how death comes cruel and inescapable… how man is
besieged by a whole army of diseases, threatened by accidents, assailed by
misfortunes, how everything everywhere is tinged with bitterness-- to say
nothing of the evils men inflict on each other, such as poverty, prison,
disgrace, shame, torture, entrapment, betrayal, insults, quarrels, deception….</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>…
in fact, who have been the most likely to commit suicide out of weariness with
life? Isn’t it those who have come closest to wisdom?”</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sorry
for this dark passage. These are dark times. Remember, I do promise I’ll end by
affirming mental health. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But,
for now, let’s talk about how this world is crazy-making. Camus and other
existentialists would probably use the word “absurd,” but in this context I
think “crazy-making” really gets my point across, doesn’t it? I’m thinking of
the classic bumper sticker: “If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying
attention.” This world will drive you nuts and break your heart. Here’s another
cliche quotation: “In a mad world, only the mad are sane.” (Kurosawa) I know
I’m not really building a case here-- I’m just leaning on a general and
increasingly common sentiment that the world is either disordered or corrupt or
both, and so why should I bother getting myself in order? Why bother trying to
keep it all together, when it all seems set up to fall apart?</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So,
it feels very difficult to even desire mental health in this world.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"> 3. </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">I’m a fool to think I
can help <i>others</i> with <i>their</i> mental health.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If
I can’t control my own mental health, and this world is crazy-making, then how
could I think I can help anyone else with their mental health? This is the most
damning folly, the one that’s kept me out of work for the last few weeks. I can
hide away in my apartment and feel ok, but exposure to the suffering, and
putting myself in a helping role these days-- it’s been overwhelming, and
depressing, and anxiety-provoking, and appetite-stealing, and just seems dumb.
If my ideas and coping tools weren’t enough to help me, how can I help you? If
I can’t get you safety or security or medication, what good am I? If this world
is crazy-making, why do I insist on being this gatekeeper, in defending and
promoting an absurd life?</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Let
me put this another way: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Yeah, that’s about right.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Well
then! Time to try to argue the reverse eh? Let’s see if I can redeem mental
health as a personal and professional ambition:</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<ol start="1" style="margin-top: 0in;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Regarding my power over my own mental health:<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It’s
true that I don’t have as much power as I’d like, that my peace of mind is
greatly impacted by physical, relational, and environmental factors. This fact
has really humbled me in the last month. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And
yet, I’ve continued to work on my own coping skills and my own thought
patterns. I’ve continued to try to face my issues, to figure them out, rather
than relying solely on my securities and comforts and external treatments. If I
really think mental health is out of my control, why do I keep trying?</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’d
like to think that I am both fragile and resilient. I crumbled but I continued.
I’m starting to recognize how resilient people are, how they have hidden
reserves of resilience, sometimes unknown even to themselves. People have
survived and thrived (or as Faulkner says “endured and prevailed”) throughout
history, despite the repeated collapse of, or persistent lack of access to, structures
that meet our basic needs. If people keep getting by and keep wanting to get
by, I guess they must have some power over mental health.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">We have so little power
to determine our fate, but we still do what we can. I have so little power over
my own mental health, but I’ll do what I can. I’m pushed around and battered by
enormous waves, but I’ll still try to swim. Which brings me to my next
response...</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"> 2. </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Regarding pursuing
mental health in this world:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Why
bother trying to swim in a turbulent abyss? And how? Oy-- the best I can do
here, and this strikes me as both true and important and insufficient, is to
say this-- the world is not <i>only</i> a turbulent abyss. It can be! And it
will be. But it’s not always awful. How’s that for a ringing endorsement, eh? “Life:
It’s not <i>always</i> awful!” </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A
slogan I’ve been playing around with is “Stare into the abyss, but then find
something else to do for awhile.” I’m not confident that such a slogan could
effectively turn my head from the abyss, but the idea is right-- The world will
continue to throw shit at us, but it’s essential to keep perspective and
remember, to see, to witness, to sing out our praises, that the world is more
than just the shit it throws at us.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My
favorite passage in the Talmud is in Tractate Eruvin 13b, in which we’re told
that the schools of Hillel and Shammai debated for 2.5 years about whether or
not it would have been better for man to have been created or not. Well, the
word isn’t “better”-- it should be translated as “easier.” Would it have been <i>easier
</i>for man to have been created or not? And after all that time, they take a
vote and conclude that, no, it would have been easier <i>not </i>to have been
created. But, they add, now that man has been created he should examine his
actions. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What
a debate, right? And what a conclusion! I find this passage almost perfect in
their understanding of the hardship of life coupled with their resolve to
live well anyhow. I find it even more validating that they really don’t endorse
life, and certainly not new life-- they just say, well, now that we’re here,
let’s do our best. The world sucks, but we should still aim for excellence.
It’s a dark and beautiful sentiment, appropriate for these times.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"> 3.</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Regarding helping others
with their mental health:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Talking about aiming for
excellence, let’s turn to my final folly, working as a mental health counselor.
How do I help anyone? </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">So, first, the obvious
contradiction, one that’s plagued me for most of my absence from work: as
little as I can help the clients, <i>not</i> being there for them is certainly
less helpful. That’s the point that started bringing me back, and the one my
therapist keeps making-- being present, being a listener, caring, is important
and helpful, even in the absence of any saving action. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">In preparing to face my
clients these days, I face so many unknowns-- what will happen next, how I can
help, how they can help themselves, what keeps them going. There’s so much I
can’t imagine, and those blank spaces in my imagination terrify me. I have more
questions than answers, and thus have so few answers for the client, and yeah
it’s terrifying.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">What do I do, then, with
my own lack of imagination, about why and how to move forward? I think I have
to humble myself in a few ways:</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">First, by recognizing
that the failure of my imagination is simply that-- my <i>own</i> inability to
see ahead. I can’t mistake <i>my</i> darkness for the absence of a path
forward. <span style="background: white;">Second, by honoring the client’s
resilience, acknowledging that they always stand on their own strength, not
mine, and that my inability to imagine how they do it is just one more sign of
their strength and my limitation. </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="background: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Third,
by being process-oriented but not process-obsessed. I don’t know what we do
next, but I’ll be with them while we talk it out. I don’t need to be the
master; I can’t be the master. Here’s a slogan I’ve been playing with recently
that I’ve found liberating and encouraging:</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="background: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">“It's
not my job to justify this life or this world. The client is coming to struggle
honestly, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; text-indent: 0.5in;">and I'm
there to accompany.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="background: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">It’s
not much, and it’s a lot-- to promise to be with you while you struggle. To sit
with you, and use my own struggle to help you with yours, without getting
overwhelmed by mine or yours. To join you in your struggle, and yet not take on
yours as my own. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>These
are hard times, and I’m having a hard time, and the world is crazy-making.
Mental health is damn hard, seemingly impossible sometimes. We are fragile--
and resilient. It would be easier not to have been created-- but let’s examine
our actions. And I can’t save anyone from all of this, but I can sit with them,
be with them, struggle alongside, so that we’re together in this. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Thank
you.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-20009277702585500842019-10-01T16:51:00.003-07:002020-09-22T06:15:22.968-07:00Averting the Severity of Life<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>I. Who Shall Live</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">In Unetaneh Tokef, the phrase “who shall live and who shall die,” is followed by this list (copied from the link above, with some edits by me):</span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Who by water and who by fire, who by sword and who by beast, who by famine and </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">who by thirst, who by upheaval and who by plague, who by strangling and who by </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">stoning.</span></blockquote>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">Conventionally, this list is interpreted as the variety of ways that those “who shall die” might do so in the coming year. But! Then the passage goes on to this list:</span></span></div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial;"><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-size: 14.6667px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">Who will rest and who will wander, who will live in harmony and who will be harried, who </span><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">will enjoy tranquility and who will suffer, who will be impoverished and who will be </span><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">enriched, who will be degraded and who will be exalted.</span></blockquote>
</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial;"><div style="font-size: 14.6667px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">This second list is about ways of living, not ways of dying. Looking at the original Hebrew, one list flows right into the other, and is grammatically very similar, with the same repeating formula of “and who… and who….” So, just for the sake of Torah (for generating more wisdom), why assume that the first list is only about death? After all, we know the phrase “live by the sword,” right?</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14.6667px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">Looking at the first list as ways of life opens up the metaphorical imagination. What could it mean to live by water, by fire, by sword, by beast, by famine, by thirst, by upheaval, by plague, by strangling, by stoning?</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14.6667px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">Maybe these are lists of ways of making a living (given a lot of metaphorical leeway)? Anyone working in the pressures of a capitalistic market knows what it’s like to live “by thirst.” Anyone trying to make a name for themselves on the internet is trying to live “by plague (virality).” Too much of a stretch? </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14.6667px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">Maybe we could expand our perspective to see this as a list of ways that individuals or groups include violence in their survival strategies. If you protect yourself by overwhelming those who would attack you, then you live “by water.” If you feel safe due to police or military presence, then you live “by fire.” If you thrive on chaos (see: trolls, whether on the internet or in the White House), then you live “by upheaval.” If your freedom requires the captivation of others, then you live “by strangling.” If your self-justification requires the vilification of others, then you live “by stoning.” Eh??</span></div>
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<b style="font-size: 14.6667px;"><br /></b></div>
<div style="font-size: 14.6667px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<b style="font-size: 14.6667px;">II. The Severity of Life</b></div>
<div style="font-size: 14.6667px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">Hold on to your hats, because I’m gonna take a big step back and broaden the overall theme/message-- all life thrives on severity, harshness, on something negative. Half of your DNA comes from the victorious sperm that got to the egg first; all of your DNA comes from the coupling of a sperm and egg that then shut out all other applicants. Whether eating meat or not, we destroy life to add to our own. We live in competition for limited resources, whether material or emotional. (If this passage has you coming up with counter-arguments, please wait until section III; for now, just go with this.)</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14.6667px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">We live not only by love, but also by violence, by severity. Riffing off Sartre’s “We are condemned to be free,” I’d say that we are decreed to make morally questionable choices, to choose a way of life and in doing so choose which beings must ‘take one for the team.’ I’ll eat this, and live instead of it. I’ll take this job, and you’ll have to keep looking. I do not believe that America is currently threatened by immigration, but I can imagine (because I consume dystopian sci-fi) scenarios in which overpopulation becomes an actual problem. At many points in our lives, we are forced to decide what we will and will not accommodate, and this can be a pretty severe choice.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14.6667px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">I’ve been meditating on this fact about the severity of life, as I observe and participate in current political debates. I’ve got a friend (just one) who supports the current administration, and when we talk/debate, I heap my righteous indignation on him, asking how can he be so callous towards human life, towards others who don’t share his privileges. And this goes pretty well, until he brings up some counter-example-- some statistically-less-likely-but-still-existing violent criminal migrant, or the similarly-less-likely-but-still-happens victim of a false sexual assault accusation-- at which point I find myself shrugging, and now I’m the callous one.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14.6667px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">I’m not bringing this up to make a moral equivalence between the two of us, but to recognize that both of us construct our moral positions by, at some point, drawing a limit to our compassion and willingness to accommodate others. </span></div>
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<b style="font-size: 14.6667px;"><br /></b></div>
<div style="font-size: 14.6667px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<b style="font-size: 14.6667px;">III. Averting Severity</b></div>
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-971f7b1c-7fff-d769-fb96-4b91cc8c3cc0"><div>
<span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px;">Re-enter Unetaneh Tokef!</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial;">
</span></span></div>
<div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial;">But Repentance, Prayer, and Charity avert the severity of the decree.</span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial;">We are condemned to be free; how do we avert the severity of our choices? As a secular psychotherapist, I (loosely) translate the triad above to: self-critical analysis, intentionality, and generosity. I believe these practices can mitigate the severity in the (ultimately unavoidable) violence of life. </span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px;">To respond to my own comment above about competition for limited resources, it’s often the case that we’re driven to compete not by actual scarcity but by the fear of scarcity. I’ll hoard food and keep it from you, not because I’m hungry but because someday I might be hungry. Self-critical analysis may help me distinguish between rational and irrational fear of others. Reflection on intention may help me recognize that I need to find a way of life that serves myself as well as others. And the practice of generosity challenges me to expand my circle of benevolence, and in doing so recognize how I only live by the grace of others.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Self-critical analysis, intentionality, and generosity avert the severity of life. </i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
</span></div>
Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-19006615857307391092019-04-10T08:14:00.000-07:002019-04-10T08:14:40.082-07:00Passover, as explained through Holes<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; text-indent: 0.5in;">Situations can be
characterized by the type of hole involved. A hole can appear promising or
problematic. A hole can have a bottom or be bottomless. The combinations of
those two dimensions produce the following kinds of space: Container, Passage,
Trap, Abyss.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What kind of hole am I
encountering?</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Promising</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Problematic</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Bottom</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Container</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Trap</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Bottomless</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Passage</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Abyss</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Identifying
the kind of hole you are in will help orient you to the possibilities and
challenges of your situation. I’d like to illustrate this using the Passover
story:</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Egypt
= Trap </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Red
Sea = Abyss/Passage</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Desert
= Passage/Abyss </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Canaan
= Container</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>*Bonus:
The Sinai event as all of the above</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Egypt = Trap</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A trap is a problematic
situation characterized by stuckness, lack of escape. In a trap, there is a
space but it’s totally surrounded, unrelentingly contained by rigid boundaries.
In a trap, the task is escape, creating holes, pushing and crossing boundaries,
or generating freedom through the previously unimagined and unattempted. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There’s a Rabbinic pun
about Egypt (<i>Mitzrayim) </i>as<i> </i>Narrow Places (<i>Metzarim</i>). This
creates a slightly different space image-- the passage so narrow one becomes
trapped in it. This is a beautiful bit of psychological Torah isn’t it; a lot
of situations that we think of as traps, in actuality, are just ways we feel
stuck while we’re on the way (passage). There’s still a way through, even if we
cannot figure how the heck we could squeeze through such a constricted path.
Sometimes the path is so narrow we lose all sight of it. Trap situations call
for close observation of all apparent boundaries and possible openings. Even if
escape is impossible, a hole can serve as a port or vent.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Red Sea = Abyss/Passage</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>An
abyss is a problematic situation characterized by openness without stability.
In an abyss, it’s all space in all directions, unrelenting space, nothing to
stabilize or orient oneself against. In an abyss, the task is falling
gracefully and/or seeking stability. It’s important to recognize, though, that
an encounter with an abyss (especially once you’ve fallen in) is most of the
time entirely out of one’s control. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If
you see an abyss up ahead, it’s a pretty good idea to stop first. Do not just
enter an abyss! The Israelites are stopped at the Red Sea, facing only
problematic options-- a trap behind, an abyss ahead. Then, the miracles
happens! God gives them (but not the Egyptians) a passage through the sea. The
Midrash on Nachshon ben Aminadav gives us some additional ‘hole’ Torah-- that
one might need to jump into an apparent/real abyss, having no other way to
discover a passage. Ideally though, when encountering an abyss, one should find
a way to explore it while keeping one foot on firm ground.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Desert = Passage/Abyss</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A
passage is a promising situation characterized by openness and direction. In a
passage, one can press forward, turn back, rest, and get side-tracked. The task
is getting through, and all its related challenges-- finding a path, staying on
the path, managing obstacles, etc. Because of its similarity with an abyss
(because bottomless), passage can also be a very disorienting, distressing, and
discouraging situation. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
desert is passage for the Israelites between Egypt and Canaan. They journey, go
astray, make stops, have setbacks, and eventually get somewhere. On the other
hand, the wilderness is so disorienting that it can feel more like an abyss.
The entire generation leaving Egypt (save two) dies in the desert. For Korah
and his ilk, the desert becomes a literal abyss. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Canaan = Container</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A container is a
promising situation characterized by protective boundaries and flexible
openings. In a container, one should feel oriented, safe, stabilized, and free.
The task is maintaining good boundaries. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Canaan is the promised
container for the Israelites but their time in it will always be fraught with
boundary anxiety. Who and what is allowed (or prohibited) in the country/community
will be a constant and ever-budding obsession. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sinai as Container, Abyss, Trap, and Passage</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sinai
appears as a container when the people all arrive and become one nation.
Looking back at the Sinai event, it defines the people, creating a division
between those who stood at Sinai and those who did not. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sinai
appears as an abyss when God’s arrival triggers clouds, lightning, and a
breakdown of the natural order. God crosses the boundary into the world, and
this is threatening to the integrity of the world as a container. This is
likely why the people beg Moses to have God speak to him rather than them.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sinai appears as a trap
in the Midrash in which God is said to overturn the mountain on the people
“like a barrel.” In this version of the story, the people learn that their
‘freedom’ from Egypt is only for the purpose of serving God; if they don’t
‘choose’ the Torah, then they will remain trapped.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Is
Sinai a passage? Sort of-- it’s a stop along the way, and therefore it is a
part of the way. It’s an ordeal for the people to get through, and not everyone
(see: Golden calf worshipping) makes it through. The people are challenged to
move-- from slavery to freedom, from idolatry to monotheism, from mixed
multitude to nation, etc. The story of the Israelites in the desert is one of
progress and regress, and Sinai is just one episode in which we see both kinds
of movement.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-86898299371675805752019-03-31T14:31:00.000-07:002022-07-30T08:20:59.969-07:00Apil Fool's 2019 - The Folly of Meaning and Nihilism<br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Welcome to my 14th
annual April Fool’s observance! It continues to thrill and delight me that
people show up to this, that folks participate by bringing their own paradoxes
and listening to mine. I sometimes wonder, are you all just patronizing this
old fool? Maybe you just want to save me from embarrassment, so you show up to
my party to hear me speak. I <i>would</i> feel pretty foolish if no one came.
Although, maybe that’s too charitable a reading of you all-- maybe you <i>actually
</i>come because you <i>want </i>to embarrass me, and what better way to do
that then show up and listen to me embarrass myself? Dang, now I feel foolish
because you <i>did </i>come! Well, thanks a lot-- wait, am I saying that
sarcastically?? Man, I don’t even know anymore. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Oh
well! Let’s do this. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
title of my speech this year is a bit much, but I promise it’ll be worth the
trip, if you can believe me. This year’s speech is: The Follies of Meaning and
Nihilism. That’s right, you get double the foolishness this year! These twin
topics-- meaning and nihilism-- are one way of framing the paradox that fueled
my daily writing in 2018.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’m
using the word “meaning” to represent a certain perspective on life: that life
is something we should invest in. We should care! Life is better when we care,
when we try, when we do our best, when we aim to explore and plan and optimize
and love and commit, when we find meaning in life, when we make meaning in
life, when we tell ourselves meaningful stories about ourselves and the world
and life. Know what I mean? Like, “Hey all, let’s live meaningful lives because
life can be so darn meaningful.” That’s the frame of meaning, and I hope you
feel it when I say it. A meaningful life is possible and good to pursue. I
could try to answer the question “What’s the meaning of meaning?” but I think
it would really make this speech drag. Instead I’m just hoping that <i>some
part </i>of you feels it when I say that “meaning” is a good and appropriate
pursuit in life. It’s the part of you that loves meaning and wants life to be
meaningful and feels good when life feels meaningful. Y’know?</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now
then, the perspective I’m calling “nihilism”-- I could also have called it
meaninglessness, but I like how the word “nihilism” brings a lot of attitude
into the talk. So, the various things I mean by nihilism-- basically, that all
the stuff I said about meaning just now might be lovely but it’s also just
bullshit, because life is bullshit. I’ll admit that my atheism makes this
perspective easier to feel-- there’s no God, the Universe doesn’t know or care
about us, all of our stories about meaning are just stories, there’s no
ultimate point to anything, each of us just dies and disappears and gets
forgotten, the sun will burn out and everything will be cold and dark, and so whatever
we’re doing right now just <i>cannot </i>matter that much, because ultimately
it’s all nothing and we’re all nothing. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I think the atheists in
the room are already with me, so now lemme try to bum out the more religious
folks in the room, with a little help from my biblical friends Kohelet and Job.
Both of them might <i>also </i>tell you that life is bullshit because we die
and are forgotten, because our safety and comfort and health are fragile and
will ultimately desert us, and the fact that a God exists just adds to a sense
of injustice in the world rather than saves us from it. Kohelet adds some
additional pessimism, letting us know that society will always be unjust,
because that’s what humans are like, especially when we gather in large
numbers. Of course, in the era of this political administration and the
catastrophe of our global stewardship, it’s not too hard to inspire you to feel
pessimistic. You bummed yet?</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So that’s the basic
paradox! We should try to live meaningful lives, and also, life is bullshit. Each
approach has its folly. If I try to live a meaningful life, eventually I get
hit by the absurdity of it all, or at least with the all-consuming abyss of
mortality and eternity. But if I live as if life is bullshit, if I just sink
into my pessimism and cynicism, then what a waste, right? I’m a fool if I
invest in life, and a fool if I don’t. A fool if I treat life as sacred, a fool
if I don’t.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’m
not going to explore this conceptually. Instead, I want to go straight to
talking about what it has looked like, and what it could look like, to live
with both of these opposing truths. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>How
has this paradox played out in my life so far? I think I go through periods in
which the mode of meaning dominates, and other periods in which the mode of
nihilism dominates. These might be relatively long periods-- the peak of my
religiosity was clearly in the mode of meaning, and my first depressive episode
(back in 7th grade) was in the mode of nihilism. The periods can also be much
shorter-- I can find that I care deeply about the meaning of my work on Monday
but by Thursday or Friday I’d just rather do nothing. Or that right after my
coffee at 8am, I’m ready to seize the day, but around 6pm I’d rather the day
just leave me alone. If the news is good that day, then maybe life isn’t total
bullshit; if the news is bad, well there ya go. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Two
brief examples about how meaning and nihilism can often get a bit mixed up in
each other-- these are also ways of showing that what I’m really talking about
here is how we frame, how we interpret, our experiences and decisions. The
first example is about drugs and alcohol, and the second is about
child-raising.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Drugs
and alcohol-- is taking them an act of meaning or nihilism? One could see it
either way. At times, I’ve taken drugs or alcohol to facilitate feeling closer
to life, closer to others, to make more connections between ideas, and so on--
in that regard, drug-taking is an act of pursuing meaning. Those actions might
imply that life without these facilitators lacks meaning; or my actions could
just as well imply that life is rife with meaning, and there’s nothing like a
good sacrament for revealing the sacred. Right? Sometimes people feel great
love for others while on drugs. That could be because they actually hate people
but love drugs. Or they might realize on drugs how much they actually love
people. So the act of taking a substance could reflect the spirit of meaning or
in the spirit of nihilism.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Moving
on to children-- is making one in this day and age an act of meaning or
nihilism? One could see it either way. Watch this-- I could choose to have a
child because I’m investing in life, because I care about the future, because I
want to pass on my values and hopes to the next generation. Or I could choose
not have to child because I’m investing in life, and I don’t want my resources
to get sucked up by a new life when there are already so many suffering people
and institutions I could serve, in order to create a more secure future. In the
mode of meaning, I could choose to have a child or not. Now watch this-- I
could choose to have a child in a more cynical frame of mind, thinking who
cares if it exponentially increases my carbon footprint and takes away time and
energy I could have spent fighting for justice, because, hey, I’ll get mine,
and we’re all gonna die anyhow. Or I could choose not to have a child because
fuck it, that’s time and money I could spend traveling or on myself in some
other way, and why care about the future if I’ll be dead in it anyhow. In the
mode of nihilism, I could choose to have a child or not. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Why
am I doing this to you? What am I doing to you? I think I’m just trying to show
that, at least in my head, life is meaningful and life is bullshit, and my
actions keep expressing one or the other or both, and I just keep feeling so
foolish about the whole thing. Foolish, but smug also, you can see that part
too, right? Smug and glib and sort of right.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ok,
how are we doing? So far I’ve hopefully demonstrated how I get jerked around by
this paradox. I think I owe you some kind of wisdom about how to live this
paradox well. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We
should pursue a meaningful life, and also life is bullshit. Can those be
brought together?</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My
first suggestion is the usual one when I’m dealing with paradox, which is that
it’s best to seek rhythm between these modes, and in doing so, achieve some
kind of balance. That looks like caring really hard, but then not being
surprised by life’s absurdity (the Stoic approach?).. Or caring really hard,
but also occasionally giving yourself a break from caring. It could look like
staring death and loss and nothingness in the face, and despairing, and then
giving yourself a break from that and just living life and enjoying hope. I
could treat each mode as a blessing, by taking the attitude that it’s kinda
nice to feel really motivated in the morning, and also a relief to care less
about all of this later on in the day. Work and play, awake and asleep,
solitude and intimacy, meaning and nihilism-- maybe these opposites work best <i>as
a </i>pair, each works best when I take them in the right proportions, striking
a good rhythm, a good balance.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That’s
my usual suggestion. I’d love to be more ambitious, and to offer a vision of
harmony rather than rhythm, right, like some way of gracefully combining the
two modes, to stand with one foot in meaning and one foot in nihilism. But I
really don’t know how to do that-- in my experience, each just spoils the
other. When I’m trying to make something of myself and of this life, a touch of
nihilism brings despair and just kills my motivation. When I’m just letting go
and not giving a shit, thoughts of meaning can provoke guilt or shame. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So,
do I have a better suggestion? Well, I have this, and this is really why I’m
talking about this topic today and always-- the best thing you can do is make
sure not to neglect one side of this paradox! And I’ll be honest, I’m saying
that because I strongly prefer people who can appreciate and stand in both
sides of this dilemma. If you’re too caught up in meaning or too caught up in
nihilism, I tend to find you imbalanced and insufferable. I just feel like
you’re either missing the point or missing the pointlessness. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yup.
As always, my solution is the same-- telling you to hold both sides of the
paradox. Just because the universe doesn’t care doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.
Just because you feel like your life is precious doesn’t mean the universe
should. Life is meaningful, and life is bullshit; the deepest wisdom I have
about life is to take it seriously and also it’s a big joke. Confused? Feeling
foolish? Excellent. Thank you.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-80322165479214805372019-02-23T20:56:00.000-08:002019-02-23T21:05:54.275-08:00Examples of each of the Ten Variations on Void<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After writing my </span><a href="http://theemptythrone.blogspot.com/2017/09/ten-variations-on-void.html" style="text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">initial post</span></a><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and feeling very proud of it, a couple of people asked for examples, which is fair, since the original is </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">pretty </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">abstract.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ve also decided to put them into larger categories:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">VOIDS THAT CAN BE USED FOR SOMETHING</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A Void that Echoes</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is a very interactive space. The </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">space in a conversation</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> for example, which one person fills, prompting the other person to respond. You put sound/meaning into the space, and expect relevant sound/meaning to come back at you in return. </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Social media</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> is another major void that echoes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A Void that can Contain</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Say I feel an emptiness inside of me, but then I fill it with love or purpose or </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puQJNPaGcYc" style="text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">some other third thing</span></a><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and feel less empty. The void which I felt was actually (or seemingly) an X-shaped hole, a hole which is now serving its purpose. The void was a </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">particular lack</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, whether of love or purpose or X.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A Void that is Transparent</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The gap between what I said/did and what I meant. The gap between what I said and what you heard. The gap between my current state and my goal. To become aware of these voids is to become aware of </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">distances not yet crossed</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A Void that makes Room for Possibility</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wx2lCC0vqq8" style="text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">break in the schedule</span></a><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Creative destruction. Find new work, a new partner, a new hobby.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">VOIDS THAT MUST BE ADDRESSED AS VOIDS (and not for some other use)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A Void that does not Contain</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Say I feel an emptiness inside of me, and try to fill it with things, but no matter what I still feel empty in that particular spot. It could be that I haven’t found the right thing to put there, or it’s possible that the hole has no bottom, and therefore cannot serve as a container. This could be something like </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">deep, existential insecurity</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, the kind that exists because I’m mortal. </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Fear of Death, Fear of Absurdity</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, etc… they’re much bigger than anything you might put in them to fill them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A Void that does not Echo</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For an atheist (or rather, for someone whose divinity does not take a personal form, or whose god is currently </span><a href="https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/the-concealed-face-of-god/" style="text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">face-hiding</span></a><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">), </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">the cosmos</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> is a void that does not echo. Say whatever you want into it, it will not respond. Shout at the stars, shout into the darkness, you’ll only hear your own voice and then silence. This can be peaceful and humbling, or depressing, depending on set and setting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A Void that is Opaque</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Any meaningless event that you wish had meaning. </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Death</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tragic accidents</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Alternatively, </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">actual darkness or fog</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Or, meaningless events that are fine that way-- </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">a random breeze</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A Void that Crushes the Infinite/Possibility</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Pretty much any of the voids in this section fit this description. </span></div>
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Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-50888300096334158022018-12-20T07:56:00.003-08:002018-12-20T07:56:51.223-08:00Why Bother with Philosophy?: Motivation for Careful Thinking about Life<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">#354</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">Why Bother with Philosophy?: Motivation for Careful Thinking about Life</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;"> There’s no such thing as over-thinking-- there’s only helpful and unhelpful thinking. Nitpicking, obsessing, ruminating are examples of intense thinking that waste your time and energy. They’re wasteful not because you’re “thinking too much” but because you’re thinking in ways that </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">don’t help you find clarity for living life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">Philosophy at its best is both intense and helpful. Philosophy should help you think about life in ways that you make you a more mindful, conscientious, and intentional person. I’ll rephrase </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">that negatively-- philosophy should help you think about life in ways that save you from being a mindless, careless, mixed-up person. Sounds good, right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">I’ll raise two objections to philosophy, and answer them with two metaphors:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">1. Philosophers get too caught up in the details, lose the bigger</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">picture, think so much about life that they don’t know how to live it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">2. Philosophers are too abstract and impractical; a philosophical</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">argument is not a useful tool when I’m trying to actually think about how to</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">live my life.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">Re: #1 - Philosophy is like computer or vehicle maintenance.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;"> Yes, philosophy involves looking at life “way too closely / deeply,” and it’s easy to get lost in it, easy to get caught up in little details. Dissecting life is a lot like taking apart a computer: it makes </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">a big mess and makes it difficult or impossible to use. But look-- philosophy is a way to “troubleshoot” life! Knowing how it works will make you better at using it, better at noticing and addressing issues. If you’re going to own a computer or a vehicle, you can expect trouble at some point, and only in-depth familiarity will help you out of it. It’s the same with life. Knowing how to </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">take it all apart will help you in getting your life together.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">Re: #2 - Philosophy is like weight-training.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;"> Yes, philosophy involves some “heavy” mental lifting, and often you’re dealing with burdens that are much more abstract than real life issues. But that’s the same as weight training! Real life weights are never as simple as barbells and bench presses. And yet, working out in the gym </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">builds the same muscles you’ll need in the real world, even helps you isolate and strengthen each muscle. The deep abstract thinking of philosophy is a method of intentionally “overdoing” it so that you feel over-prepared for addressing real life situations.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;"> Philosophy is a tool for strengthening your mind for taking on the questions and complexities of life. Look-- you’re going to be thinking about life either way. Why not learn how to think about it well?</span></div>
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Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-51187008756218544912018-12-05T06:20:00.001-08:002018-12-05T06:20:37.663-08:00My Approach to Clinical Psychology, as Expressed through the Four Statement Types<span id="docs-internal-guid-7aac3f8e-7fff-b774-73ac-1b5c722f61f3"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Interrogative</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What’s happening?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What’s the problem?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What’s the tension between?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What do you want?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Exclamatory</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Everything is meeting and it’s a big mess!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We keep hitting walls and falling into holes!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We’re feeling torn apart and run around!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We have needs and desires and insecurities so we want power and that can make us fearful urgent jerks!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Declarative</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s helpful to frame your experiences in life in terms of encounters.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In encounters, we get tripped up when we face a negativity (problem, limitation, possibility).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s helpful to frame the negativity as a tension that requires resolution or accommodation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our actions in encounters are motivated and complicated by power dynamics, including our own desire for power.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Imperative</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Take stock.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Manage the emptiness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Manage the tensions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Manage your power.</span></div>
</span>Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-59180984118895454462018-09-29T03:50:00.000-07:002018-09-29T03:50:15.399-07:00A Contrarian’s Guide to being a TherapistI had this quick run of thoughts at some point on Yom Kippur, and when I jotted it down that day, it looked like this:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">When you see only one, learn to look for the second.</span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">When you're stuck between two, learn to be the third.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">When you're cycling around three, learn to see them as one.</span></blockquote>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div>
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Last night, I re-wrote it as a dialogue:</div>
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-71f72eca-7fff-e2a1-c0d2-b85158863025"></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>A Contrarian’s Guide to being a Therapist</b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Client: See, I’m dealing with this one thing--</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Therapist: That’s important, but what is it connected to? What’s the second thing?</span></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-c634db72-7fff-3889-78b8-0efe67495b5a" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">C: Fine, they’re these two things I’m stuck between--</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">T: You gotta get out of binary thinking! There must be more than two.</span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">C: OK, I got all sorts of things I’m dealing with--!</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">T: Can’t you see that all of those are one big thing?</span></div>
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Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-19886872421359265872018-07-01T05:36:00.001-07:002018-07-01T05:37:35.754-07:00I Daydream about Convincing My Enemies That I'm Right<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: ""arial"","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Ideas are the continuation of war by
other means. </span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: ""arial"","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">In this paraphrased reversal of
Clausewitz’s dictum, I stand firmly in the tradition of Nietzschean genealogy.
Ideology and its messengers are the sophisticated brutality of civilization.
Ideology is less dangerous in its word-form, but show me an ideology that
doesn’t saturate material culture, that doesn’t guide behavior and become
another tool of imperialism. Words are the way for those without weapons; words
shape the will without the need for weapons. Ideology is sophisticated
brutality.</span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: ""arial"","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">And there is no way around this,
although I do think (of course I do) that some ideology is superior. Pluralism
and humanism are ideologies, even as they offer themselves as “transcendent”
options. I cannot just promote dialogue over ideology, as if dialogue itself were
not an ideology. So, there, I’m staking a claim-- that the ideology of dialogue
is superior. I’ll be honest, ok, and own my imperialism-- that the world will
be better off if everyone came to my side, that I think that the values behind
the dialogical ideology should win, should vanquish (silence?) the values and
voices promoting whatever would oppose dialogue. (Of course, this comes with
the implication that ideologies which deny dialogue should be vanquished also--
any ideologies which assumes the inhumanity of some part of the human
population). </span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: ""arial"","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">So, do I get any moral superiority
for this? If I say “Don’t punch Nazis; <i>convert </i>Nazis,” am I better? I
exchange physical violence for ideological imperialism. I won’t deny that it
sounds much better. But I want to focus, for now at least, on the condescension
involved here, the same condescension in Socrates’ claim that all evil is
simply ignorance.</span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: ""arial"","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">If all evil is ignorance, then no
person is my mortal enemy-- only a wrong idea can drive a person to kill me. It
follows, then, that any enemy is one enlightenment away, one conversion away,
from being safe, from becoming my kind. The first issue I see in this is that
it puts me and my kind at the top of the enlightenment pyramid-- a claim to
position that’s pretentious, presumptuous, and surely tainted with its own
ignorance. The second issue, related to the first, is that it places
responsibility for “the problem” entirely on my enemy, rather than seeing the
problem as arising from the fallen state of all humanity, or at least from the
dynamic between me and my enemy. I’m a therapist, dammit! It’s not that people
are problems; it’s much more likely that people are hurt, and relationships are
broken. </span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: ""arial"","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">It’s funny though, that even with
the above critiques, I still hold on to my belief of having ideological
superiority. In my head, I can hear myself taking in the critiques above and
making them into a lesson about tact. If I am to convert my enemy, I should
approach them with vulnerability as armor, to show myself as willing to change
so that they are similarly inspired, to approach them as if the dynamic is the
problem, and through this relational tact change them. I suppose, however, that
this is still more virtuous-- if I act vulnerable and open, I could easily
trick myself as well into vulnerability and openness. </span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: ""arial"","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">What am I getting at here? What do I
want myself and the reader to take away from this? I think the main sentiment
is that it’s important to acknowledge, affirm, and yet also feel a little
embarrassed by our desire for power. Even if you are righteous, do not believe
that your righteousness is your only god; know that even now you are driven (at
least in part) by power. Every ideology is also a weapon. It’s good to aim for
righteousness, but know that even that can become toxic.</span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: ""arial"","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">And maybe this, then, as a bigger
conclusion-- that the veil of ignorance hangs over all of us, and that even if
one enlightenment is all it would take, no side among us is in the position to
do all of the enlightening. </span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-27371531119367633402018-06-21T06:56:00.001-07:002018-06-21T06:59:58.281-07:00The Blessing and Curse of Incongruence<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Bless Incongruence!</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I turn off the screen,
take off my headphones, put down the book. It’s very quiet. The world and its
chaos is suddenly all outside; none of it is in here. These walls are not in
crisis. This next breath was going to occur to me either way, but now it feels
more inspirational. It feels nourishing to have this breath enter, and not have
anything else enter. The blessing of incongruence, as I find peace and light in
hellish and dark times.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Curse Incongruence!</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
sit quietly and safely while the world burns. What kind of asshole am I? Walls,
you are liars! How dare you not tremble. If I sit and meditate and “Be Here
Now,” I am in a Here and a Now of illusion and disconnection. The curse of
incongruence, as I find peace and light in hellish and dark times.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And Curse Incongruence Again!</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
fight is on, and it’s out there, and I’m in here. I’m in here, raging, while
the fight goes on out there. Raging inside and outside, and yet incongruence
persists as I go on without the fight and the fight goes on without me. I get
up for work; I do my best to serve people in my job; I go home. I eat; I read
the news and shake my head; I go out for a walk. I convince myself that I can
only leverage my power by holding on to it. If I lose employment then I can’t
help others; if I go and help others (in the extreme way we’re all fantasizing
about) I lose employment. The curse of incongruence, as I yearn to keep myself
and the world together.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And Bless Incongruence One Last Time!</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’m
thankful for my access to refuge. I’m thankful for the world’s intrusions. I’m
thankful for the intrusion of my conscience. I’m thankful for the intrusion of
sleep. Hellish and dark times call for good encounters and good withdrawals. I
feel the incongruence of the world and my values, and it pushes me to act. I
feel the incongruence of the struggle and my own small well-being, and it
reminds me to stop before I drop. The blessing of incongruence, as I yearn to
keep myself and the world together.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-69643730881314734322018-04-08T13:21:00.000-07:002022-07-30T08:21:11.612-07:00The Folly of Individuality - April Fools 2018<br />
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<u><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Defining Individuality</span></u><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Here’s a phrase that, I think,
captures the essence of individuality: “I’m me.” “I’m me” expresses the
separateness of individuality-- as in, I’m me and not you. It expresses
particular composition-- I’m all these things that make me “me.” And it
expresses agency-- in “I’m me,” Matt Lowe is both of the words/concepts in the
sentence, both the subject and the object. I’m all the things that are “me” but
I’m also the “I’m,” the owner and agent of this thing that is me. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So if someone were to ask “What is
an individual?” then these characteristics-- separateness, particular
composition, and agency-- while not comprehensive, go a long way towards
describing the individual. But an equally salient question goes like this:
“What does it mean to <i>identify</i> as an individual?” In answering this
question, a certain experience, marked by passion and anxiety, is highlighted--
to identify as an individual is to live with and act upon an intense <i>need </i>for
separateness, for particular composition, for agency. So, let’s say that
“identifying as an individual” is what we mean by “individuality.” Here individuality
is a commitment, a desire, for dignity, for integrity, for self-importance. For
self-determination, both in terms of having power over one’s self-definition
and having power over one’s fate. So that’s individuality.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The Folly of Individuality</span></u><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The folly of individuality is that,
from the perspective of <i>many </i>fields of study, the separateness,
particular composition, and agency of the individual are illusions. The
reality, the experience, of myself as a unique agent is repeatedly eclipsed by
larger Wholes (with a W) which, paradoxically, also includes things smaller
than me. When I reflect on the many parts and Wholes among which I find myself,
then my self-importance, my ability and desire to define myself and determine
my fate-- it all feels foolish, and this individuality represents a failure to
recognize and live in alignment with greater truths of my reality. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I have so many examples of this to
share, but I don’t want to be too confusing or overwhelming; I want to present
them already organized. So I’m going to present my main point first-- that the
individual is made of parts that mock individuality, and that the individual
fits into Wholes that mock individuality. These look like two separate
critiques here: (1) a bottom-up critique from the perspective of parts, and (2)
a top-down critique from the perspective of Wholes. In actuality, these two
perspectives are the same-- maybe a metaphor will help. The individual is a
wave in the ocean. The bottom-up critique tells us that a wave is nothing but
water molecules and motion. The top-down critique tells us that a wave is
nothing but the ocean doing its thing. Do you see, then, how these critiques
are the same? The ocean doing its thing <i>is</i> water molecules and motion.
There’s a larger Whole, playing out in millions of tiny parts, and the
individual is just something caught up in it, and individuality is that
something taking itself too seriously.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The wave metaphor might be too
reductive-- I don’t want to say that the individual is nothing <i>but </i>component
parts of a larger whole but rather that the individual is nothing <i>without </i>component
parts of a larger whole. How about a tree metaphor, with the individual as a
leaf? The self-importance and self-determination of a leaf would be foolish,
given its place in the life of a tree.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Ok, then, so how about this as the main point: Individuality is
foolish when we consider the individual as something that emerges among the
component parts of a larger whole. (repeat it). Now for a brief survey of a
bunch of examples-- let’s look at this phenomenon biologically, ecologically,
psychologically, socio-historico-culturally, existentially, religiously, and
mystically. This won’t take as long as you think-- I’m going to do the whole
thing pretty glibly. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Biologically, the individual emerges out of and biodegrades back
into a stream of atoms, hormones, genes, etc. “I” am a brief or permanent
stopping point for a flow of genes that have been mixing and remixing for eons.
I am a collection of collaborating cells... that is, until they stop
collaborating, at which point I become more of a battleground or a junk heap, a
compost pile, my personhood incidental and past. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The ecological example is just the biological one on a larger
scale. The individual emerges out of and biodegrades back into the life of the
Earth. I’m a function of climate. Like other animals, I’m a temporarily
effective vehicle for water and seeds.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Psychologically, I subscribe
(loosely) to two theories that chip away at the integrity of the individual--
internal family systems and attachment theory. In my framing of internal family
systems theory, the individual is just the place where various intrapersonal
forces compete and negotiate for the power to speak for me as a whole. The “I”
is literally a persona, a mask, an attempt of some part of me to represent all
of me.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In my understanding of attachment theory, the stability and
positivity of my personality-- the fact that I feel capable of knowing and
loving myself-- is mostly a result of having the good fortune of feeling known
and loved by certain people in my life. This reckoning of how the individual
emerges out of a family leads me into the next realm, the
socio-historico-cultural.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Socio-historico-culturally-- on a
societal, historical, cultural level, Matt Lowe is an overdetermined entity.
Ask <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Base_and_superstructure" target="_blank">Marx</a>; ask <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs" target="_blank">Maslow</a>; ask <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intersectionality" target="_blank">Kimberle Williams Crenshaw</a>. My sense of self floats
atop the historically-contingent life-support systems of industrialism,
capitalism, agriculture, academia, and several others. *My ability to think
about myself personally, to have productive and fulfilling work and
relationships, is a product of my more basic needs being met. The fact that so
many of my basic needs are met is a product of how society treats me as a
first-world-inhabiting economically-secure educated employed neurotypical
non-disabled cis het white Jewish male in 2018. Self-determination? Ha! I’m
mostly a particular collection of social component parts of a larger social
whole.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This is getting repetitive, so I’ll speed up the last three.
Existentially-- I am a variation on existential themes, something that emerges
out of and degrades back into a stream of self, other, desire, freedom, time,
etc. Existential motifs play out in individual lives like the five ingredients
used in every Taco Bell menu item-- it’s all there, just in different shapes
and combinations (example taken from <i><a href="https://www.theonion.com/taco-bells-five-ingredients-combined-in-totally-new-way-1819564909" target="_blank">The Onion</a></i>). Religiously-- the
meaning of the individual is subsumed into the religious myth. My definition
and my fate are shaped by the context of a cosmic narrative. Mystically-- the
individual is nothing but the One, nothing but an expression of the divine
flow. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And there it is! The individual’s
self-importance is quickly humbled when the individual sees themselves as
emerging among the component parts of the larger whole. Biologically,
ecologically, psychologically, socio-historico-culturally, existentially,
religiously, mystically. The folly of individuality is-- as if I could really
see myself as separate, as unique, as a free-standing agent in the larger
reality from which I emerge.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">One step deeper</span></u><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">So far I’ve characterized the folly of individuality as based in
its illusoriness. But I want to go one step deeper, and talk about the
arrogance and the privilege behind individuality. The individual may be an
illusion, but individuality is a sin.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>First a quick return to my basic
definitions: the individual is characterized by separateness, particular
composition, and agency. Individuality is characterized by a need to identify
as an individual, a commitment to being recognized as separate, particularly
composed, and agentic. Individuality is motivated by a need for <span style="background: white;">self-importance, self-definition, and
self-determination. </span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So, if it isn’t clear by now,
individuality exists within a very specific relationship to power.
Individuality is a luxury. “I’m me” only if and when I’m in a position of
enough power to not get lumped in with the masses. “I’m me” only if and when
I’m sheltered from the forces that do not give a shit about me as an
individual. I get to feel like an individual when I’m not one among many
fighting for survival. I get to feel like an individual when my day-to-day
experience is not defined by being a targeted population. My particular
position in society provides me with power that <i>allows </i>self-definition
and self-determination, and thus the luxury of self-importance. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The illusion of the individual and
the privilege of individuality pose major obstacles to making positive change
in the world. Individuality becomes an idolatrous individualism in the
philosophy of Ayn Rand, or an idolatrous Messiah complex in some religious or
secular groups. In ecology, individuality produces the tragedy of the commons.
Jessa Crispin in her book “<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Why-Am-Not-Feminist-Manifesto/dp/1612196012" target="_blank">Why I am Not a Feminist (A Feminist Manifesto)</a>”
points out how individualism in feminism produces the phenomenon of individuals
“cashing out” once they’ve achieved personal liberation from (or in) the
system. Individuality leads to the abusive phenomenon of blaming individuals
for systemic issues-- we see this in psychology in the phenomenon of the
“identified patient” in family therapy, or in the fact that the DSM is filled
with pathologies that only implicate the individual.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Individuality, individualism, is not
helping us. We need movements. We need more identification with the greater
Whole. We need to understand ourselves as participants rather than as
individuals; as participants, so that we understand ourselves and act
intentionally within the larger realities in which we are already
participating. We have to rise to the challenge of organismic thinking.
Individuality must be overcome.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The Inevitability and Redemption of Individuality</span></u><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Which brings me to the part of the
speech where I backtrack, the part where, having critiqued and discouraged
individuality, I’m going to go back and insist upon it, and hopefully redeem
it.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The fact is, I don’t have to argue
much to reinstate the reality of the individual; despite all of my talk about
component parts and larger wholes, the illusion of the individual dominates my
experience. Despite everything I’ve said, privacy, a major dimension in the
separateness of the individual, persists. Internality persists. “I’m me”
includes the fact that my pain cannot be traded out, cannot be experienced by
anyone other than myself, and none of the above arguments change that privacy,
that solitude and isolation. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The biggest factor, though, that
forces me to take individuality seriously, is the feeling of responsibility.
The individual could be an illusion. Heck, free will could be an illusion. And
yet, the onus of action persists. Agency, weirdly enough, seems to be both an
illusion and a sacred trust. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Even my call to overcome
individuality still places the burden on the individual, doesn’t it? Right? If
I call upon myself, call upon you, to join something bigger than yourself, only
you can actually make the choice and take the action to do that.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It’s very weird-- with enough
critical analysis, the individual appears as illusion and sin; and yet and yet
and yet, over and over, the individual is a persisting illusion that continues
to color our experience. This inevitable illusion, we have to do something
paradoxical with it-- to challenge it while leveraging it into responsible
action. Only the individual can make the choice to step out of individuality. I
cannot participate conscientiously in the Whole without first dealing with
myself as an individual participant, as a particular person with a particular
location and a particular agency. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My recommendation, then, is that
individuality needs to be sifted; I need to understand when and how my
individuality is useful versus when it’s toxic. As a general principle, it
appears to be toxic whenever it revels in its disconnection, when it smugly
inhabits luxury and privilege. And it’s useful when it’s understood and
leveraged into participation, when it’s engaged to subvert itself, through
teamwork, through solidarity, through allyship, through participation. That’s
it-- that the individual alone is folly; and that the
individual-in-participation is everything.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Thanks for reading!</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-26775848217259928452018-03-25T06:11:00.001-07:002018-03-25T06:11:56.058-07:00This Passover, Talk about Power<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<span style="color: black;"><i>(Disclaimer: In order to speak the language of the holiday, I use
the word "God" in this post. I'm using it because God is a character
in the Passover story; I'm not intending to make any claims about the
historical veracity of Passover or the existence of an actual god.)</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">This Passover, can we talk about Power instead of Freedom?</span></span><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">We’re American; “Freedom” always sounds like a good thing. On Passover, liberal Jews
love to celebrate it as a holiday of freedom. The clever ones among us like to add nuance to the conversation, things like “Freedom from or Freedom to?” and “What kind of freedom is truly free? Don’t we always serve something?” These are great questions, ones that point at the same thing I’m pointing to--</span></span><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Why not just talk about Power?</span></span><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">To me, the whole story makes more sense when seen through this lens. The Hebrews are under the power of Pharaoh. God can only take them through a superior show of power. Then they are under God’s power instead. </span></span><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">I think we prefer the “Freedom” version because freedom sounds so unambiguously virtuous, and power does not. Power sounds desirable but suspicious, dangerous. What
makes God’s power morally better than Pharaoh’s? That’s unclear; that depends on how define our terms. </span></span><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">And that’s why I’d rather talk about Power this year. Our minds link power and corruption, power and abuse. If we talk about power, it will drive us to think and talk and figure out what the heck “good power” looks like. Then we can consider the Hebrews in the desert in a different light-- not asking about how God’s law makes us free, but how God’s power succeeds or fails in empowering us, how power should be used or shared in the relationship between God and the people, and how we can discern whether or not God’s means and ends reflect “good power.”</span></span></div>
Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-83197175531122267212017-12-19T06:39:00.000-08:002017-12-19T08:04:02.240-08:00Matt's Metaphysics and More (as of Dec '17)<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">METAPHYSICS</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Stuff and Space</span></i></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">There’s stuff and there’s space.</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Stuff” is anything that’s a thing. (I’m not thinking too deeply into this yet.)</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Space” is a little more complicated-- it’s anything that is not a thing, but rather, the absence of things, which in turn can actually serve as the medium in which things move/reside. So, Time is also a kind of Space. </span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Where did these two types come from; what created them?</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Shut up, that’s what. It’s not within the capacity of the human mind to “see” “behind” this level of reality (read: Immanuel Kant; Ludwig Wittgenstein; Gordon Kaufman). Just because you can ask the question “Oh, gee, where did it all come from?” doesn’t mean that you get an answer, or even that it’s actually a coherent question. </span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Mereology</span></i></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Stuff either </span><b>connects </b>with other stuff or doesn’t connect. </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">When it connects, higher-order stuff results. Sometimes the higher-order stuff is a more complex thing; other times it’s a relationship between things.</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">ATHEOLOGY</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Not Theology</span></i></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Theology” is, unfortunately, too often conflated with theistic theology, in which the principle(s) of ultimacy is given a personality. Thus, “atheology” is the consideration of ultimate/concern without dredging up “god”ly forms of theology (idolatry).</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Dualistic Atheology</span></i></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">This is a pretentious but accurate phrase for where my beliefs have landed. </span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Here’s another one: “existential mereology.”</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">There are two ultimate principles: </span><b>encounter </b>and <b>emptiness</b>.</span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Each principle can occur as the divine or the demonic.</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">The divine dimension of encounter: insight, wholeness, love....</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">The demonic dimension of encounter: misunderstanding, meanness, Moloch (systemic evil)...</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">(Neutral aspects would include: knowledge, creativity, power, personality, meaning/narrative…)</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">The divine dimension of emptiness: humility, freedom, possibility, rest...</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">The demonic dimension of emptiness: absurdity, loneliness, being swallowed by the abyss...</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">SECULAR SPIRITUALITY</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is an extensive intellectual/emotional (or simply “holistic”) consideration of one’s relationship with the phenomena/experiences of encounter and emptiness.</span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Regarding encounter, one must consider and adopt a caring stance towards what it means:</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">To be</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">To be capable of meaning-discovery/making</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">To be oneself</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">To be oneself with/among things</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">To be oneself with/among people</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">To be oneself in the world at this time</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Regarding emptiness, one must consider and adopt a caring stance towards what it means:</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">To die</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">To live in a world that (probably) cannot be made whole</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">To live in a world heading towards heat death</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">That nothing of this means anything ultimately</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Managing Dualism</span></i></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">This, for me, is the next major challenge in developing my secular spirituality:</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Creating a coherent spirituality, </span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">given the major tension between encounter and emptiness.</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-30986636702757238132017-12-11T07:16:00.002-08:002017-12-17T06:14:38.668-08:00Myths, Motifs, and Meaninglessness<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">*This post was inspired by my recent reading of Marion Zimmer Bradley’s </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mists_of_Avalon" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Mists of Avalon</span></a><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, which overlapped with my college mentor </span><a href="http://www.jtsa.edu/neil-gillman" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi Neil Gillman</span></a><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">’s death and memorial.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">These are three different types of structure (or lack thereof) of the connection between person and world.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In myth, person fits into world as character in narrative, with a beginning provided and end assured.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In motif, person is of a kind within the world-- many narratives are available but no master-narrative. The person is simultaneously unique and connected, insofar as they are a (shifting) bundle of attributes shared (in part) by others in existence. The person’s origin and destiny are lost among the play of motifs; no long-term survival of self or stable context of meaning is assured.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In meaninglessness, person exists in world for a time. “Sound and fury,” etc. That’s about it.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">II</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My current self/world-view is motif. I see individual/collective life as the playing out of various existential-biological themes, such that each situation is simultaneously unique and yet resonates in the general play of life.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Myth and meaninglessness make claims as to the ultimate structure of meaning, while motif makes no such claim. The thing with motif, however, is that it could exist within the context of either myth or meaninglessness. Here’s what that looks like:</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Motif within myth - there is a master-narrative that’s hidden, but if you pay close enough attention to patterns, it can be discovered. Gillman compares the ability to find myth to the ability to discern a basketball team’s “passing game.” The motifs attain ultimate meaning by being placed within the larger myth.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Motif within meaninglessness - yes, there are lots of echoes in the world, lots of themes, great. Cool. But, ultimately, there’s no order to it, no point, it all adds up to nothing. The motifs fail to achieve ultimate meaning because there just isn’t any.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">III</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t feel assured enough to make a claim that myth or meaninglessness are the actual state of things. Is that ok? Is it ok to just focus on the motifs, despite their relativity to some ultimate-yet-undetermined state of things? Can relative meaning be enough to get by, enough to avoid the despair of meaninglessness as well as the *problematic structures of myth?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">*I recognize that this last phrase, critiquing myth, needs elaboration.</span></div>
Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-24746165657916398122017-12-10T10:09:00.003-08:002017-12-17T06:18:39.677-08:00Dual “Divine” Options in Atheism<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Skip this paragraph unless you need me to defend my use of the word “divine”</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As I’ve established a few times in this blog, I’m </span><a href="http://theemptythrone.blogspot.com/2017/07/im-not-atheist.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">not</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><a href="http://theemptythrone.blogspot.com/2016/05/against-monotheism.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">so</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><a href="http://theemptythrone.blogspot.com/2014/10/calling-myself-negative-theologian.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">much</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><a href="http://www.stateofformation.org/2011/07/guest-blog-post-why-god2-should-not-be-called-%E2%80%9Cgod%E2%80%9D/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">an</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> atheist as I am someone who finds the word “</span><a href="http://theemptythrone.blogspot.com/2011/10/do-you-believe-in-god1-or-god2.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">God</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">” </span><a href="http://theemptythrone.blogspot.com/2014/11/cultivating-personal-relationships-with.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">super-problematic</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, mostly because it function grammatically as a Proper Name, leading people to speak about the divine as if it was some kind of being. This is why I really prefer the phrase “the divine,” because it’s easier to use to speak about a property of (our experience of) reality-- “the divine” being a way to point towards the mystery, the transcendent, the surplus, and occasionally the blessing we encounter in reality. “We encounter the divine” sounds like it’s describing a quality of a special experience; “We encounter God” sounds like it’s describing a meeting of beings, one of which is a God.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dual Identities: Negative Theology and Humanism</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This post is inspired by a talk given at Shabbat services yesterday by </span><a href="https://hjcny.org/our-community/leadership/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi Ari Saks</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, in which he invited the congregation to consider different ways to handle bowing during the Torah processional before the Torah reading. Should the person holding the Torah:</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bow (along with the rest of the congregation) towards the empty ark?</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bow towards the congregation as the congregation bows towards them?</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Stand straight up while everyone else bows towards the Torah?</span></div>
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</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The idea behind this fantastic question was to illuminate how choreography expresses different theological positions/preferences. Given my position (see links in first paragraph), I felt torn between the first and second options, and this called attention to my split priorities when it comes to the divine. As a negative theologian, I like how the first option locates divinity in the empty space. As a humanist, I like how the second option locates divinity as something that resides/appears within/among the congregation.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I want to explore briefly how these two locations of divinity play out and interact.</span></div>
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<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Abyss as the Divine (or demonic)</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is a position promoted by </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tzimtzum" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lurianic</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Kabbalah and </span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-Auschwitz-History-Theology-Contemporary/dp/0801842859" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rubenstein</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">’s post-Holocaust theology, reflecting the fecundity of space, the absoluteness of the abyss, the sacred in the silence. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At the same time, the abyss is very often not a blessing, especially given that it ultimately will swallow us all, leaving no trace.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Between-ness as the Divine (or demonic)</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is a position promoted by Buber, Levinas, and </span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Female-Face-God-Auschwitz-Holocaust/dp/0415236649" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Raphael</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">’s post-Holocaust theology, and certainly accessible through Reconstructionism and Humanism, all of which call attention to the ‘divine’ power of human love, care, attention, labor, etc.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And at the same time, so much of what occurs between us humans is not divine, but rather mean, messy, and/or misled.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Relation and Tension between the Abyss and the Between-ness</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ve already gone over this </span><a href="http://theemptythrone.blogspot.com/2017/07/sacrednessnothingness.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">once</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-- the abyss appears to be the source/place of all that goes on between us, but it’s also the destroyer of all of that too. To focus on humanity is, most often, to forget/ignore the abyss. To focus on the abyss-- you get the idea. </span></div>
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<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But! I believe both are very important! And both have clearly captured my imagination in terms of what seems special about existence, despite the lack of a more classical God. So, is there some way to honor both together, to represent and relate to both together?</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At the very least, it seems like I’m working myself into some kind of dualistic theology-- one faced (the human face, face of the other, etc) and the other faceless. I wonder, then, if the next step is to look into the ways that Dualistic theologies (even though mine is an atheology) function. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, here’s where I’ve arrived for the moment: a Dualistic Atheology, which aims to identify the understandings and best practices towards engaging with the abyss, and with between-ness. </span></div>
Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-33192425906291030582017-09-17T09:24:00.003-07:002017-09-17T09:31:06.899-07:00Ten Variations on VoidThere are all kinds of voids to encounter. But, it's important to know <i>what kind</i> one is encountering so that one may know what to expect and how to comport oneself appropriately.<br />
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<b>A Void that Echoes</b><br />
When one shouts into it, something bounces back. Despite the apparent emptiness of this void, it must be surrounded by walls or something. This kind of void can be useful, then, as sounding board (or echo chamber?).<br />
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<b>A Void that does not Echo</b><br />
When one shouts into it, no sound comes back. There is <i>eyn sof</i>, no end to this void, and so no way to produce an echo. Despite the infinitude of this void, the encounter brings no feeling of expansiveness. Without an echo, the infinitude is actually quite murky, and so the sound of one's voice sounds very small and very local. This void is effective for remembering humility.<br />
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<b>A Void that can Contain</b><br />
A void, because it's an empty space, can be really useful for storage. Sometimes the void stores what cannot be stored elsewhere. Sometimes the void is used for storage <i>just so</i> the void itself will be decreased.<br />
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<b>A Void that does not Contain</b><br />
This is very similar to the Void that does not Echo. One might try to place things in this void, but those things cannot be managed in this way. They do not even disappear into the void, because that would still be a kind of containment. No, what happens is that you put the thing in the void, and then turn around and it's right where you initially found it. So, what to do when encountering a void that does not contain? Don't try to dump anything in it.<br />
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<b>A Void that is Transparent</b><br />
One might not even notice a void like this, since its transparency simply reveals whatever is on the other side of it. This kind of void is important to note, however, since in this manner one becomes more sensitive to distance/space as the relationship between things.<br />
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<b>A Void that is Opaque</b><br />
Look into it all one wants, there ain't nothing to find in a void that is opaque. One only sees not-seeing. Not unlike staring into a fog, except a fog is not a void. Is there any use for a void that is opaque? Maybe if one needs a break from seeing.<br />
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<b>A Void that Appears Within</b><br />
I've already written on this topic <a href="http://theemptythrone.blogspot.com/2013/07/inmy-last-two-posts-i-explored-number.html" target="_blank">at length</a>. But to riff a little here, the void that is within can be so many things, from hunger and desire to hope and curiosity, and very often ignorance and possibility.<br />
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<b>A Void that Appears Without</b><br />
This category and the previous feel like uber-categories in that any of the preceding voids could be encountered within or without. And, of course, one that appears without could still be a reflection/reminder of one within.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>A Void that makes Room for Possibility</b><br />
Hooray, a space! The frontier continues.<br />
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<b>A Void that Crushes the Infinite/Possibility</b><br />
Nothing comes from nothing. The silence deafens. The sheer scale of nothingness makes a mockery of somethingness.<br />
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<b>Further Variations</b><br />
I hope it is clear that many of the above kinds of void can be coterminous with one another.Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-72954964296695648882017-08-17T07:28:00.002-07:002017-08-17T07:28:59.270-07:00On Developing Civic Habits<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; text-decoration-line: underline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Discomfort as Motivation for Healthy Habits</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I floss every single night. I’ve done so for years now. If I try to go to bed without flossing, I get uncomfortable and then have to get up again and floss. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My exercise routine is much more sporadic. When I have more time (weekend, vacations), I exercise well and regularly, with appropriate stretching and sufficient time and energy to constitute some solid aerobic fitness. But there are long stretches in the year when exercise means taking a walk at some point in the day-- not as good, but not nothing either. At some points in the year, I’ll stop doing even this, but within a few days or a week, my body and mind get sufficiently agitated and I know that only some good body movement will get me right again.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">These are habits that I’ve been able to develop because of the way I’ve learned to better identify with my body as part of my larger organism. I tend towards being mostly “heady,” and it’s taken time and experience to value and remember to take care of parts of me that are not immediately my mind. And the key to developing these habits seems to be about developing sensitivity to my own discomfort when I let them lapse.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Civic Habits and the Luxury of Individuality</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After the recent inauguration, like others I felt a high degree of motivation to stay politically active. I started making donations, and making several phone calls a week to political representatives, as well as encouraging friends (on social media) to do the same. It lasted about a month before work and life became busier (at the time I was looking for a new job, planning a move to a new city, and planning a wedding), and my personal sense of crisis and urgency began to abate.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">One of the major dimensions of </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Privilege</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> is being sheltered from experiencing the negative effects of societal issues. As a first-world economically-secure educated employed neurotypical non-disabled cis het white male (did I miss any?), societal/global health can plummet while my personal experience of society remains stable and strong. Others are affected; others are worrying; </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> don’t have to worry right now.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Individuality is a luxury, a benefit of privilege(s). So when my civic habits lapse and wither away, I don’t suffer. I just return to normal. I return to comfort and lose touch with motivation for urgent activism.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Loosening the Bonds of Individuality</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are truths about my life to which privilege blinds or desensitizes me. I’m part of a social network of life. My daily stability and comfort is established by unjust systems of capitalism, racism, sexism, and so on. I need to develop more social consciousness, in which I experience “my” well-being in alignment with the larger organism.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Individuality is losing sleep because I’m hungry. Social consciousness is losing sleep because others are hungry. (And just to be less noble for a second: Social consciousness is wayyy harder. My life has less stress when I let myself assert that many, many societal problems are simply </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">not my problem. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And, within the framework of individuality, I can’t solve all the problems of society, so why stress myself out, right?)</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The goal is not to give up individuality but to temper it, and to develop an embodied social consciousness. In fact, a major part of developing that social consciousness is about sensitizing myself to the impacts (even if subtle) of others’ oppression on myself, and then developing effective ways to process that sensitivity and turn it into action. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What comes next is basic but essential. </span></div>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Cultivate discomfort by identifying beyond this limited sense of self.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Make habits of consciousness-raising and activism.</span></div>
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<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Attend civic events.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Make calls. </span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe, someday, join a civic-minded group and focus my energy there.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Allow this habit to fluctuate (like exercise) but don’t let it lapse.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Set up personal systems of accountability. After all, I didn’t really change my flossing habits until I had a partner who flossed with me. Never underestimate the power of the “buddy system.”</span></div>
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<br />Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1871472124229577530.post-42258492817106164412017-07-31T11:00:00.002-07:002017-07-31T11:02:07.444-07:00How does one improve at self-improvement?<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Self-improvement can be an act of self-love, but it often involves actions that border on self-rejection. In order to improve myself in some aspect, I need to use self-critical analysis-- to assess what I’m currently doing, to judge that against some standard, and then to apply effort to do better. A lot of negativity can come out during that process-- the assessment can descend into nitpicking and negativity, the judging into inadequacy, and the efforts into perpetual dissatisfaction. The toxicity of self-critical analysis can lead to: anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, poor self-care habits, self-injury, poor relationships, etc. (There’s toxicity in lack of self-critical analysis, too-- just off the top of my head, narcissism and being an </span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Assholes-Theory-Aaron-James/dp/0804171351" style="text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">asshole</span></a><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Which is to says that one can be bad at self-improvement, and thus the question: How does one improve at self-improvement? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m having trouble organizing my thoughts, so I’m going to just provide some bullet points, grouped chronologically (in terms of my thought process);</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Set I</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Let yourself be bad at some things.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Let yourself be mediocre at some things.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Never judge yourself as a whole because of some aspect of yourself.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Set II</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you’re not getting satisfaction from the effort itself, you’re not going to find satisfaction at the end of the effort either.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As much as possible, set your own standard for excellence, and set it based on the intuition I’m calling “just feels right.” In this regard, one can choose freely among the standards that appear to be set by others.</span></div>
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</ul>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Set III</span></div>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Related to this internal standard, establish an intuition called “enoughness,” one which signals satisfaction (and thus the end of striving after success) or asserts acceptance (and thus the end of striving because effort has turned into punishment). </span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What’s needed is the development of a safe ‘place’ of self-love and acceptance. Without this anchor, efforts at (and attitudes regarding) self-improvement can veer towards the toxic. Just as I need to practice the thing I’m trying to improve, I have to balance it with practices of self-love and acceptance.</span></div>
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</ul>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Set IV</span></div>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As always, discernment and rhythm are the keys here. Discernment to tell the difference between contentedness and complacency, and between self-criticism and self-abuse. Rhythm to alternate between the striving and sitting needed to make changes while practicing self-acceptance.</span></div>
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</ul>
Matthew Ari Lowehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04502812308500471776noreply@blogger.com0